This summer, red is the new brown! Throw out your sunscreen and head outdoors to achieve this summer’s hottest look: a crisp, red complexion. Whether you’re in Miami or Montecarlo, the best way to stand out on the sand this year is with a severe sunburn. And for once, the latest fashion trend is something our male counterparts are salivating over. Nowadays, men are getting reeled in by gals with righteous burns – the redder the better! You’ll be turning heads with some spaghetti-strap shoulder mishaps, a flaking chest, and a set of lobster thighs. If you play your cards right, you’ll trade your SPF for a new BF! But what is it about this look that has guys going gaga?
Guys Know Girls who Tan are High Maintenance
The first thing a guy thinks when he sees a perfect, beautiful, golden tan is, “This girl’s going to be a lot of work.” That kind of gorgeous packaging needs some serious upkeep! Whether that means having to apply suntan lotion to her back every 15 minutes, footing the bill for pricey self-tanning memberships, or being dragged to the beach when he’d rather be watching the game, that bronze skin comes with a hefty price. And frankly, one that he doesn’t want to pay.
Girls Who Burn are Carefree
Your overexposure to UV rays shows you don’t care about pain, your surroundings, or even your own comfort! If you’re so easygoing that you’re not concerned about getting skin cancer, being able to fall asleep tonight, or putting on a bra without screaming, then you probably won’t mind if he drunkenly gropes all of your friends at parties. If you can’t remember to put on sunblock, then you probably won’t remember dumb things like anniversaries, which is cool because he plans on forgetting them too! Most importantly, if you’re sporting a burn that eventually peels or evens blisters, he knows you can handle all the pain and discomfort that goes along with loving something that doesn’t love you back, like the sun.
So banish your base tan this year, and burn baby, burn! Send out the message that you’re down for a haphazard, no-regard-for-the-future kind of summer fling. Once he sets his eyes on your red-hot burns, he’ll have to restrain himself from reaching for his own cream. To masturbate! Because he’ll have a boner.
Have fun out there!