Having a party, but don’t have the time to avoid animal products? Just because other people want to reduce their carbon footprint doesn’t mean that you have to do go down with them. Here are some non-vegan food substitutes you can whip up when your pro-animal-life pals swing by — they won’t even taste the difference!
1. Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Los Tacos Supreme
Feeling a little guilty for sabotaging your friends’ diets, but not guilty enough to not do it? Serve these tacos with the assurance that they barely constitute as meat and definitely don’t look like it.
2. Fried Wellfleet Oysters with Tartar Sauce
All fried food looks the same, so go with the flow and pretend these fried Wellfleet oysters are whatever everyone else thinks they are! Unless they think they’re fried Wellfleet oysters. Then say something about reconstituted hearts of palm.
3. Double Cheeseburger
They’ll be in such disbelief that you’d try to pass something so meaty off as vegan, they’ll have to believe it.
Vegans love to brag how delicious vegan desserts are. Now’s your chance to bake your secret brownie recipe and serve a treat vegans can actually be proud of! Just don’t blow it and give away the recipe. That’s why it’s a secret recipe.
Not all wine is vegan thanks to fining agents like gelatin, but don’t think too hard about it or you might end up with a derivative hangover. Use the money you save not buying its vegan counterpart to buy more wine. If anyone tastes the difference, they won’t after a few more glasses!
6. Thick-Cut Bacon
No need for any special preparation or sneaky disguises. If you bought enough wine, your vegan friends will be thanking you for the chance to indulge in this gateway meat. And with just a little bit of luck, they won’t be your vegan friends anymore!