You draw open your curtains on trash day to see that glorious hunk of a trash man. What can a woman do with her pulsing carnal desire for the smiling, athletic man who routinely picks up her trash? You’ve exchanged friendly waves with him, sometimes even a warm “hey”, but how can you push these interactions past politeness and toward the steamy fling you know you two are destined for? Luckily, there are plenty of fun, flirty hints you can leave for him in your trash that will have your waste-collecting Adonis coming back to pick up more than your garbage!
A Legible Journal Entry Expressing Your Desire For Him
Everyone’s a little nosy—even hot garbage men who collect trash literally every day—right? Pique his curiosity by stapling a legible diary entry to the outside of your trash bag. And make sure the entry get straight to the point: You’re very lonely, very available, and have noticed the strong arms and magnetic energy of your garbage man! This flirty piece of trash will have him wondering things like: “Lol, why is it stapled to the outside?!” But mostly, he’ll know your door is always open for him to inspect a whole lot more than your garbage!
An Empty Boxed Wine Covered In Lipstick Marks
First, make sure the boxed wine is FULLY COVERED in lipstick marks and that you’ve chosen a shade so bright and sensual he won’t be able to miss it! Then, place this flirty piece of trash on the sidewalk where it’ll really catch his eye, and let his imagination go wild! Did you finish that boxed wine alone? Do you always go for the boxed red wine? (Romantic!) What can he learn about your kissing style from the marks? Regardless of where his thoughts take him, he’ll know for sure that you’re single and know how to party!
A DVD Case Of “Men At Work” With Hearts Drawn On It
On paper, being a garbage man isn’t a glamorous gig, but in reality, you respect that he’s making a good wage while showcasing his work ethic AND charm! Dispel any concerns he may have about your pickiness by tossing out the DVD case for this classic film about garbage men, covered in affirming Sharpie hearts and winky faces!
A Print-Out Of Your OK Cupid Page
Although this might feel less natural than leaving out a make-up tarnished boxed wine, no love worth fighting for comes without risk! Make sure you get a clear print-out of your OKC stats including your likes, dislikes, and especially that funny Anchorman quote! After printing, write a funny note like: “Why is it so hard to connect in the age of internet?!” This will let him know that you’re still totally single, and are looking to find your love the old-fashioned way, outside on the sidewalk where he picks up your trash!
A Box Of Expired Condoms With A Sad Face Drawn On It
It’s a silly, unexpected move that gets right to the point! Make sure to leave the box of condoms near the top of your trash, peaking out, so he’ll notice them and investigate. Leave a flirty sad face on the box, or a simple note like, “Bummer!” This will let him know you’d have loved to use those condoms, if only you’d had the opportunity AKA a hot garbage man in your bed!
If none of these flirty trash tactics catch his perfect, gleaming eyes, try running out as he’s picking up the trash and dropping your phone number on top of the pile before coyly shrugging and saying: “I almost forgot to throw that out!” You’ll be grabbing his junk before he can grab yours.