Recently, 31-year-old Sabina Linfield made the astounding discovery that the act of eating dinner in bed can be transformed into an act of self-care with the mere presence of string lights.
Last Wednesday, Linfield brought her plastic platter of microwavable fettuccine alfredo into her bed, and tucked herself under her covers, using her chest as a table.
“When I first walked past her room and saw her eating a cream-based pasta in bed I thought, ‘Yikes,’” said Maria, Linfield’s roommate. “But when I looked up and saw those LED string lights taped to her wall, I immediately realized, wow, she’s partaking in the vital act of caring for her body and soul.”
Linfield, who has a table in her kitchen and in her living room, decided regardless to eat her fettuccine alfredo in bed under the glow of string lights that are sort of falling down on one side.
“Eating dinner in bed on it’s own is sort of sad,” explained Linfield. “But with the presence of my glorious string lights, it’s essentially a deep-tissue massage from a masseur at a five-star spa and a gentle, loving orgasm, all at once.”
“It’s so important to check in with yourself,” added Linfield. “Of course, eating my dinner in bed under my string lights is an act of self care, but in this political climate? Some might say it’s also an act of resistance.”
Indeed, Linfield has tapped into a revolutionary routine by prioritizing her wellbeing and taking time to luxuriate in a paradise of her own creation. Her inspirational methods have not gone unappreciated by those around her.
“I’m awed by Sabina’s mindfulness. She wasn’t even watching something on her laptop,” Tillman said. “She was just staring at nothing, taking mouthfuls of fettuccine, illuminated by her string lights like a goddess of tranquility.”
Others are less convinced by the efficacy of string lights in making bed-dinner a positive experience.
“I’m sort of worried about her,” said Linfield’s second roommate Lula Styles. “I think actual self care would be preparing herself a real meal and eating it off a plate at a table. I don’t see how the string lights change anything.”
Thankfully, Styles’s negativity cannot penetrate the shield of self care created by Linfield, who announced at presstime that she has no plans to stop eating in bed.
“With the string lights, it’s essentially homeopathy,” said Linfield.