Let’s face it: Condoms can be the worst. However, they’re the most effective way of preventing STDs, and everyone obviously knows that. So, why has your man taken such an unflinchingly adamant stance on not using protection? Ask yourself these questions to figure out if he truly hates condoms or if he has just devoted his life to the spread of HPV:
Have the two of you used condoms in the past?
- Yes, until we both agreed not to use them anymore.
- No, he was firm about not using condoms from the very beginning and you saw “Give her HPV” at the top of his to-do list that day.
Has he received the HPV vaccine?
- Yes, and he seemed relieved when I told him that I had too.
- No, and he seemed really disappointed when I told him that I had, too.
Does he know what a pap smear is?
- Yes, he went to a high school with comprehensive sex ed and grew up with four sisters.
- No, but he thinks it sounds delicious!
Have the two of you discussed STD risk factors?
- Yes, in great detail, and we got tested together. We both value our sexual health.
- Yes, but he refused to show me any test results, asserting that, “There’s no test for HPV in men” and then he winked at me?
Has he ever had a sexually transmitted disease?
- Yes, in college. But he immediately went to university health services for treatment when symptoms presented and he has used condoms with every non-exclusive sexual partner since.
- Yes, he currently has many visible genital warts. But he made sure to let me know that, “Literally everyone already has or is going to get HPV at some point in their lives. You may as well get it from me!”
Do you two sometimes use pet names when addressing each other?
- Yes, we call each other “sweetie” or “babe” from time to time.
- Yes, he insists on me calling him “patient zero” when we’re in bed.
Your man probably just has a preference for unprotected sex. Nothing wrong with that! As long as you’re both on the same page and have taken the steps to ensure your respective sexual health, dare to go bare!
Uh oh, seems like your guy is an oversharer: an oversharer of what can turn into a potentially serious sexually transmitted disease. Make sure you’re going to your annual gynecological appointments, and maybe find someone who takes his genitals a little more seriously!