Pride weekend is coming up, and you know what that means: crashing your gay friends’ parties to meet straight dudes! It’s important to dress the part while recognizing that some eligible straight dudes are still not super into the gay thing. Here are five cute Pride weekend outfits that go from gay to night!
Forever 21 Keith Haring Cutout Dress, $15.80
Keith Haring was a totally famous gay artist who died of AIDS, but straight guys who still think Kevin Spacey likes women have no idea who he is. Flirt with them in this dress, and they’ll have no idea you were just at a pride rally! Bonus: the cutouts keep you cool during the day and looking sexy at night.
Nasty Gal Spice Up Your Life Crop Tee, $45
OMG, gay guys LOVE the Spice Girls!! Straight guys who don’t think your friends should be allowed to adopt will just see the shirt as some confusing girl thing that they don’t care to try to understand, so it’s a winner!
American Apparel Legalize Gay Cotton Tank, $14
It’s so important to remember the point of pride weekend, which is standing up for equality with cool celebs. If straight guys ask you about this tank, you can be like, “Oh, it’s from American Apparel. The CEO is totally straight and groped a bunch of his female employees!” Soon enough, your potentially homophobic hottie will be groping YOU!
Rainbow Tutu, Etsy, $130
With this getup, you can definitely just, like, jump onto the parade floats and dance with shunned exBoy Scouts! Afterward, you can tell your strict Catholic hookup buddy that it’s a leftover outfit from Burning Man. Guys love raver chicks because they seem so easy!
Rainbow Sparkle Nipple Pasties, Etsy, $35
Your retrominded (it sounds so much better than “bigoted”) straight hunk will totally not get that your rainbow pasties symbolize empowerment in the queer community. He’ll just be staring at your tits! Now twirl those tassels and go get that homophobe!
Remember on pride weekend: keeping your homophobic love interests secret from your gay buds is just as important as keeping your pride secret from “traditional” dudes. We will not have tears this pride weekend!