Writing at the end of the day can help to clarify your thoughts and feelings about your day, especially when the prosecution needs additional evidence to establish intent and convict you of manslaughter. If you’re looking to start journaling, here are some of the cutest private diaries they’ll end up using against you in your very public trial.
Fur-covered Journal
Your trial is inevitable, so why not look as cute as possible while it all goes down? A diary covered in brightly colored, artificial fur makes journaling charming and fun! Maybe it will even match your nails when you’re holding it up on the stand and reading some of your darkest moments aloud to strangers. Fill it with multi-colored doodles and different thoughts to keep that drab courtroom cheery and adorable! Because that tiny diary lock is going to be way less effective than you’d hoped.
Collage-Style
You can create a collage diary by simply plastering a composition notebook with magazine clippings that just get you, you know? Photos of random hot guys, some of whom have disappeared, will help the jury get to know you quickly, and maybe even feel like they relate to you. Surely they won’t decide “guilty” if they see your sweet, strong, and sassy vision board of a diary!
Motivational Diaries
Nowadays, there’s a journal for every taste. So whether you’re into Ryan Gosling’s “Hey Girl” memes, or inspirational sayings, there’s a diary out there for you! The quotes at the bottom of each page will still be relevant to you when they put up an enlarged slideshow of all your entries for the whole courtroom to see. Now, while you’re inspiring yourself, you can also inspire the family members who were willing to show up and support you, even though they know you did it.
Your Entire Bedroom Wall
If you think the trial will be super boring and want it to end quickly, show them the scrawlings that cover every inch of your bedroom wall. Complete with all your thoughts, dreams, fantasies, and evil plots, this wall-diary will really speed up the whole justice process. Plus, there’s way more space on your walls to explain your many conspiracy theories!
These are the best options for diaries to try and hide under your bed until there’s a warrant and the justice department seizes all your property. Make sure to write in yours every day to help the lawyers do their jobs. Remember: Writing is hard, but incriminating yourself is easy!
