You just had a great day out with your beau, and now you’re back at the home where your worst fear manifests—he’s pulling up YouTube on his laptop to “show you something hilarious.” Forcing someone to sit next to you and watch a YouTube video in person rarely has a positive outcome. Fear not! Here are some time-tested fake giggles and chuckles for you to use when he shows you literally any shitty video:
The Sniff
This is the most commonly feigned laugh of them all, but oddly accepted in most parts of the world as a perfectly acceptable sign of amusement. What this fake laugh requires is the quick expulsion of air from one’s nostrils—as though you were just caught off guard by something actually funny or entertaining that you had chosen to watch of your own volition. Once the air has fully escaped the nose, add a bit of a throat snicker to finish. He’ll surely think this compilation vid of major FAILS successfully showcased his robust sense of humor!
The Japanese Cartoon
As soon as Jeff Dunham finishes his dead-terrorist-puppet bit, raise your hand to your mouth, make an “o” shape, and laugh as though you’re pushing ping pong balls out of your mouth with every chuckle. As you laugh, slowly increase your pitch and frequency, until you sound just like that green-haired schoolgirl demon from the Anime cartoon he watches in the bathroom! To a more trained eye, you still sound like you’re feigning surprised amusement, but that’s okay—he is too distracted by this hilarious video!
The Blocked Windpipe
After seeing this weatherman from 2006 TOTALLY fuck up his delivery on live TV, tilt your head up to the sky and make throat sounds like you’re trying to breathe with a lodged fig in your throat. You’ll sound something like cleaning a squeaky window and a spray paint can, and it’ll totally fool your man into thinking he’s really proving his worth to you.
The Hoot & Declare
This one is not for the timid! Once the video of a storm trooper pelvic thrusting to techno music is three-quarters of the way through, shout the word “HA!!!” as loud as you can. Then, after your jarring outburst frightens him, look him dead in the eyes and say “now THAT. THAT is funny”. Like we said, this one’s risky, but if you pull it off, he’ll never suspect you of lying in order to avoid an awkward confrontation ever again!
The Gut Bust Shut Down
After watching some idiot kid finishes hitting his dad in the ‘nads with a wiffleball bat in slo-mo, now’s your time to physically convulse and silently and painfully laugh very hard. When your face is red and you’re sweating, motion for him to “stop” over and over. Once he’s laughing with/at you, lean over and shut the laptop screen as if to “end your suffering.” That part won’t be a lie!!
Hopefully these guidelines help the next time he decides to ruin your time together and watch a YouTube video. Remember, you love him in spite of his disappointing taste in online media and you will get through this!
