Going back to a Trump-voting household for the holidays this year? Nothing says, “I know exactly who you voted for and I’ll never, ever forget” like baking! Now that Thanksgiving has exhausted your will to argue verbally, desserts are the best way to send your family a clear message, and that the error in their ways will never be forgotten by the annals of history. Try these fun and creative holiday treats to say exactly what you mean:
“I See You, Aunt Tanya” Chocolate Pinecones
Get a pinecone shape by holding together Chex with peanut butter and shaving the edges into points, like a pinecone. Maybe your aunt, who wonders why there isn’t a “white history month”, will finally understand that what she said at Thanksgiving didn’t disappear into the ether yet and break a tooth on it. Since eating this fun treat could require serious medical care, this is the perfect dessert to say, “You’re gonna have to live with this one a long time, Tanya.”
Withering-Stare Snowman Marshmallow
For this yummy holiday treat, frost chocolate onto marshmallows to make cute little snowman faces! But use piping for the eyes, so you can create a detailed, withering stare that says, “Father, you betrayed me.” When your dad picks one of these up, he’ll know how you still feel about who he voted for, and that it will never ever change. Never.
Polar Bear Middle Finger Cupcakes
Make these polar bear paw cupcakes with just the middle finger up, because you know what? Your brother can eat shit, too. You saw his status that asked, “If women are so offended by Trump’s naughty words, who the hell bought 80 million copies of 50 Shades of Gray? #jailhillary” Just when he thought you were ready to agree to disagree, make these little middle-finger cupcakes to let him know you’ll never forget, not now, not ever.
Disgusting Christmas Sweater Cake
For a fun twist on an ugly sweater cake, make a disgusting and rotten sweater cake to help convey how you feel about your family’s voting decisions. Comment on specifics with adorable marzipan pins with quotes like “grab them by the pussy,” “Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud” and “I have a great relationship with the blacks.” Because you haven’t forgotten who your loved ones voted for, and you’re going to show them with a bad cake.
Gingerbread White House On Fire
Make a gingerbread replica of the White House on fire. Then write, “You did this” with icing on the roof. That should say what you mean.
Forego the classic sugar cookies this year and let these creative treats communicate your dismay instead. Whichever one you serve, they’re sure to make everyone uncomfortable!