Some men look down their noses at women who choose to wear lots of makeup, while other men are critical of women who choose to go bare-faced. But 24-year-old Jacob Quinton is no ordinary man: this talented multitasker is judgemental of both women who wear makeup and women who don’t!
“I just think women look better natural,” said Jacob. “But not so natural that I can see, like, their pimples and stuff. Be decent, you know?”
Wow, it’s incredible that he thinks what women do with their own faces is any of his concern whatsoever!
Jacob, who does not shower consistently, went on to explain his antithetical opinions about how women should present themselves.
“Women who wear a ton of makeup are intentionally being deceptive,” he said. “How am I supposed to know what they actually look like if their makeup is caked on? I just think they should look like themselves.”
“I mean, not totally like themselves, though. They should still be presentable,” he added.
Jacob’s women peers are seemingly unaffected.
“I literally couldn’t care any less about what Jacob thinks of women and makeup,” said his coworker Kelly Pierce. “I wear makeup for myself, not to impress men. If I wanna wear a bunch, I’ll do it. If I wanna wear none, I’ll do that too. He should save his breath.”
“It’s crazy that he thinks women who wear makeup are trying to trick men but is also shocked when he sees a woman without makeup on,” added Freida Khan, who is on Jacob’s co-ed softball team. “I mean, if he doesn’t know that women aren’t born with pink-to-gold ombre eyelids or that women’s cheekbones are not naturally perfectly flush, that sounds like a him problem. I don’t care, and I haven’t met another woman who does either.”
But Jacob, who doesn’t own a hairbrush, is steadfast in his completely contradictory judgments about women’s appearances.
“Women need to know that men aren’t attracted to clown makeup,” he said. “But also, we aren’t attracted to pasty, unevenly-toned skin and stubby eyelashes. They should just find a happy medium.”
We’ll get right on that, Jacob!