Celebrities We Hope You Didn’t Know Were Related, Or We Wrote This For Nothing

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After hours of research, we’ve put together our most comprehensive list of celebrities you had NO CLUE were related—hopefully! I mean, we really hope you didn’t know these celebrity humans were related, or we really wasted a lot of hours in the office this week. Please tell us we didn’t do this all in vain!!

 

Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal

Get your surprise emoji ready! Sure, these Academy Award nominees share the same somewhat unique last name, but we can confirm that these actors are in fact siblings! Please be shocked, because we paid a non-refundable $199 Ancestry.com membership to deliver this information!

 

Angelina Jolie and Jon Voight

Here’s a fun fact: Did you know actor Jon Voight is actress Angelina Jolie’s father? Looks like talent really runs in the family with this father-daughter duo! Don’t even pretend for two seconds you knew this one—they don’t even have the same last name! We missed our company party because were conducting personal interviews to verify that Angelina Jolie was in fact Voight’s daughter. There’s not going to be another party until next year. You owe us for this.

 

Jenny and Melissa McCarthy

Here is where we really expect you here you say “OMG no way!” because former Playboy bunny Jenny McCarthy and funny gal Melissa McCarthy are first cousins. Are you freaking out? Why not? They look COMPLETELY different. How is this possible?! We didn’t believe it for a minute, which is why we stole strands of both Jenny and Melissa’s hair AND paid the $200 DNA fee just to confirm they’re related. Did we do this for nothing?!

 

 

Nicolas Cage and Francis Ford Coppola

THIS ONE! This is the one that we KNOW will make you share this list, and preface it with “OMG THIS!!” Right? I mean, how could you have known Nicolas Cage was born Nicolas Coppola and is the nephew of famous Godfather director Francis Ford Coppola? How could you fucking know??? We had to give up so much to find this out. We had to “make them an offer they couldn’t refuse,” okay? Someone died. Please just be surprised or we’re all getting fired!!

 

Kate Hudson and Goldie Hawn

The clock struck 4:35 AM this morning when we are sitting on Kate Hudson’s lawn, and while she threatened calling the cops, we were able to get her to confess that she is a Goldie Hawn’s daughter. And then she called the cops anyway! We pray for the sake of our new criminal records you didn’t already know this. Also, if you’re free to bail us out this afternoon, that’d be swell!

 

Celebrity lives are a mystery waiting to be solved. Thankfully we take our journalist mission seriously and present to you five celebrities you didn’t know were related (fingers crossed).

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