38-year old Karen Quilt is proving you can have your khorma and eat ass, too after going out for Indian food with her date last Tuesday night. Karen, hungry, but still wanting to get her ass eaten, was faced with a dilemma.
“We’ve all had the ubiquitous ‘leave the curry, take the anal’ lecture from our moms,” said Karen. “But I guess you could say I was born a rebel.”
After eating copious amounts of Indian food, Karen and Brian, who typically consume a diet of bland American fare, waddled back to her place and flopped onto her couch. That’s when things started to get hotter than a spoonful of Bhut Jolokia chutney on a summer day.
“While he was vigorously eating my ass, I just kept repeating the mantra of ‘no fear’ in my head. At one point, a pocket of gas rose in my belly. That was the first of many close calls, but I gathered my courage and breathed through it like a warrior.”
We’re amazed that Karen was able to maintain her butt self-confidence in the most dire of circumstances!
“The fearless focus I saw in Karen’s eyes was truly like nothing I’ve ever seen before,” said Brian. “That’s when I knew: I gotta go on a third date with this girl.”
“I’ve never had a baby and probably never will, but I’m pretty sure getting my ass eaten with a belly full of saag paneer was the hardest thing I’ve done,” Karen added. “I didn’t know I had that kind of grit and tenacity inside of me. I was sweating and breathing super heavily and when I came, it felt like I gave birth without ever pooping on the table.”
Karen didn’t set out to be a modern day hero, but sometimes destiny licks your back door when you least expect it!