Boyfriend Distraught Over Some Dumb Fucking Thing

One week after a historic upset in the 2016 presidential election, boyfriend Dave Banner is reportedly distraught over some dumb fucking thing.

 

“This is obviously a really upsetting time. People feel unsafe and they feel afraid,” girlfriend Monique Chester says. “Yet Dave seems to be over that and is now agitated about some other dumb fucking thing.”

 

Reports say that Monique returned home from work to find Dave pacing around and stressed out.

 

“I gave him a big hug and said, ‘I know, the election has been tough on all of us,’” Monique remembers. “But then he shrugged off my arm, told me it was some other fucking thing, and I stopped listening because I don’t care what fucking thing he’s mad about.”

 

Witnesses say that Dave have been griping about various things online and in person this week.

 

 

“In the office, he seemed pretty upset that some deck that had inconsistent headers,” coworker Blaine Gill says. “But not upset in the way where I thought it was about the election. He just seemed beside himself over this one stupid fucking detail.”

 

Another friend says he was pissed about having missed a game that he thought was on another day, which he describes as “yet another dumb fucking thing Dave gives a shit about.”

 

“Everyone copes in their own way, but also I think Dave is just not distressed about the results of the election.”

 

Monique demands that Dave shapes up his behavior at home.

 

“There are real things happening the world even though they don’t affect him,” she says. “So whatever dumb fucking thing he has going on, he just needs to figure it out.”

 

When asked to comment, Dave said he was “fine” and “handling it.”

 

“He better be,” says Monique. “Because I don’t want to hear about any more about his dumb fucking shit.”

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