Winter is upon us, and you need to invest in a duvet that will keep you comfy as the months get colder. So take a deep inhale and unwind after a long winter’s day with these beautiful duvets that you’ll also fill with cozy winter farts, cause hey, it’s that time of year!
Plain White Cover
This simple duvet cover works great with any decor. Toss a white cover over your fluffy duvet and you have a crisp, clean look for all of winter. That’s right—after a full day of trudging through snow, regretting not buying water-proof boots, you can get warm under this puppy and fill it with farts. Fart, fart, fart. Fart like there’s no tomorrow. Lock the aromas of your farts into this huge blanket and just be there with your thoughts and scents! You’re relaxed already!
Want to add a little holiday cheer to the only room you’ll see all winter? Then pick up a cozy Christmas wonderland for your bed! Nothing will make you happier to come home to, curl up in, and fill completely with an endless stream of wintry toots. Entertain yourself with a symphony of butthole vibrations! Let the power of your farts fill the entire duvet, giving it a whole new level of fluffiness. Oh yeah, baby. That’s the stuff. That’s the warm, holiday stuff.
Pink may not seem like a winter color, but it is going to make your life better all season long! End your long, frozen-toed day with a quick fart-sesh under this bad boy. Fill every inch of the duvets with your ass magic. Then, just as the duvet is filled to the brim with all your extra gas, push on it. Squish it all down like your own human-sized whoopie cushion. Let the winter melt away warm yourself, if only with your smile and farty blanky. Feeling girly yet?
Make your big, warm duvet even warmer by adding a flannel duvet cover to the mix. The extra layer of insulation will keep you warm through even the coldest winter, and really lock in the flavor of all the farts you’ll fill it with throughout the season. Just imagine: every biting winter evening, you come home and no one is there waiting for you except the big luxurious duvet you’ve chosen for yourself. Dive inside of it, spread your butt cheeks wide, and let the gases rip unobstructed for the remainder of the evening. That’s the homey feeling you were looking for.
This winter, pick up one of these great duvet cover options. Then kick back, relax, and hot box your farts until you’re warm and smelly.