Rosalie McNerney looked absolutely stunning at her wedding this past weekend as she said “I do” in a form-fitting Pnina Tornai gown. But her “something borrowed” is what really stole the show. As a surprise, McNerney was married in her grandmothers’ 70-year-old diaphragm – how sweet is that?!
McNerney knew from the get-go that she wanted her wedding look to be timeless and classic. She was searching desperately for the perfect old-fashioned touch when she remembered her Nana’s antique 1943 Milex diaphragm that for some reason was in her mom’s closet. She decided that the dried out old prophylactic would be the perfect addition to her throwback style!
But the moth-eaten hunk of spermicidal silicone wasn’t just a fun accessory, it’s also an important part of the McNerney family history!
“One time my nana had too much to drink and told me all about how she put in the diaphragm right before her first date with my grandpa,” says McNerney. “She also said that if it had worked, they probably wouldn’t have gotten married. My nana says a lot of crazy things when she’s drunk, though. She’s so kooky I love her!”
Wow! This shitty secondhand diaphragm was an essential element in TWO weddings! How romantic!
To get the diaphragm wedding-ready, Rosalie painstakingly restored it over 14 months.
“I gently rinsed the diaphragm with warm water and coated its cracks with chemical-grade shellac,” says McNerney. “I’m kind of obsessed with crafts!”
But it was all worth it for the joy on Nana’s face when she was told that her nasty, ancient sperm shield was shoved up her granddaughter’s cooch.
“I’m so honored,” says Nana. “I remember trying to pinch and fold and finger that godforsaken thing into the back of my vagina like it was yesterday. I made sweet sticky whoopee with my husband wearing it, and now, so will Rosalie. Hope she knows the dang thing doesn’t work – never has.”
“Oh, it doesn’t even matter,” adds McNerney. “I have an IUD! This was purely just for fun!”
Aw!! Could it get any cuter?
Sure, maybe hand-me-down contraception isn’t a traditional part of tying the knot. But that’s why we’re totally speechless! You go Rosalie! And good luck getting that rickety old cup back out again.