Awkward Girl Most Comfortable Talking About How Awkward She Is

At a recent happy hour, awkward 24-year-old Amber Muth revealed her strongest conversational skill: talking about how awkward she is. Though generally uncomfortable speaking to others, Muth’s confidence shone for a brief moment as she described her quirky behavior.

 

“Ugh, I’m so awkward! Have you ever seen me waiting to use the office microwave?” Muth asked, ‘I’m always like, ‘Haha, guess I’ll just stand directly behind you without saying anything!’ God, I’m so weird. Do you guys think I’m weird?”

 

Muth’s coworkers listened to her story intently, waiting for Muth to break down into her usual nervous giggles at the thought of her own adorable awkwardness.

 

“Then, the other day Gary from accounting asked me ‘What’s up?’ and I answered ‘Good.’” continues Muth. “It’s like, yikes, maybe I should learn how to communicate with others? Haha…oh, and don’t even get me started on elevator etiquette. If you have the misfortune of getting in one with me, I will stare at you eagerly instead of just looking at my cell phone like a normal person. El oh el oh el.”

 

Intrigued at the sight of Muth’s rare confidence, a crowd of coworkers gathered round.

 

“It was like watching a flower blossom,” says one coworker, Courtney Hamm. “I’ve been sitting in the cubicle next to Amber for years and I’ve never seen her more coherent than tonight. She was clearly channeling Jennifer Lawrence by turning her clumsiness into a personality, and it was working!”

 

 

“The last time the boss called me into his office, I started doing a Forrest Gump impression!” Muth continues with her story, “I think he was going to promote me and I just totally blew it. I mean, it’s hard being an awkward girl. People are always telling me I’m like Jess from New Girl and, like, I know I have glasses and bangs, but I could only dream about being as cool.”

 

After finishing her story, Muth headed to the bathroom and cleaned off some salsa she’d spilled on her shirt, apologizing all the way down the hall.

 

When she returned to the bar and to regular conversation topics, all pretense of confidence dropped from Muth, who relapsed back to her normal bumbling self. As everyone said goodbye, she incorrectly guessed whether to offer a handshake or a hug several times, then giggled at herself until it was painful to watch. She could then be heard whispering, “Typical me…” to herself as her coworkers dispersed.

 

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