Brace yourselves – we’ve got something that’ll put your favorite cat Vine to shame: Ashley Pezzulli, the 23 year-old singer-songwriter who keeps making music even though SZA exists.
Aww! It’s adorable that someone could be so naïve!
“Songwriting is my passion!” the Berklee School of Music graduate gushes, LOL, as if SZA didn’t release the perfect album just this year. “In my heart of hearts, I’ll always be happiest when I’m making music. So I’m going to follow that happiness.”
So precious! It’s like she doesn’t even care that Ctrl is the peak of music as an art form and everyone else should just go home.
Videos of Golden Retriever puppies joyously wrestling in a springy meadow? Fine. Ashley Pezzulli carrying on dreaming up new ditties concurrently with SZA? We. Are. DYING. From. The. Cuteness.
Pezzulli’s no newbie to the biz—She’s has mastered the piano (aw!) and the guitar (heart-eyes emoji!) and boasts stellar vocals to boot (so sweet). She aims to bring her classical training to the pop sphere, which is a nice idea in theory. But ultimately, a Pitchfork darling who defies genre with every beat will always mop the floor with this bitch. Nice try though, sweetie!
Pezzulli’s close friend, Amanda Metz, can’t believe her BFF’s life choices in a post-Ctrl world.
“I don’t know if she just didn’t listen to the album, or she’s just in denial,” Metz muses. “I’m supporting her, of course, but…with SZA out here writing music for Beyoncé and Rihanna, songwriting feels pretty futile, in general.”
The precious lil’ dreamer claims to have listened to Ctrl, yet somehow keeps noodling around on the piano, hoping and wishing to make good music.
“Of course I admire SZA!” Pezzulli gushes. “We have really different styles, though,” she added, which is a thing people say when they’re trying their gosh darn hardest.
Um, no, we’re not crying—You’re crying!