Many women are plagued with the question, “Am I getting enough antioxidants in my diet?” But maybe you should ask yourself another, more obvious question: Have you consumed enough antioxidants that you are now more antioxidant than human woman? If the answer is “no”, read on for our tips on which foods to consume until, at last, you are more antioxidant than woman.
Leafy Green Vegetables
Dark and leafy greens like kale are high in beta-carotenes, which are converted into Vitamin A when consumed, which also helps promote strong vision. And it also helps you become a super-human, made up of mostly of substances that inhibit oxidation, making you impervious to the damage it could cause you. You are antioxidant. You are free.
Beans and Legumes
Folic acid is a B-vitamin, which can be found in lentils, black beans and green peas. This particular antioxidant, in case you haven’t been screaming it to your reflection in the mirror every morning, has been linked to a lessened risk of birth defects. So we know it helps you when you get pregnant. But why stop there? Are you at your optimum level of antioxidant if you are not more than 50 percent antioxidant? No! Consume this food until you are mostly antioxidants and men can smell fertility from a mile away. What a gift it will be for your lover to plunge his manhood into the ethereal pool of antioxidant bliss that used to house your weak human cells.
Oranges and Other Citrus Fruits
Vitamin C is an antioxidant vitamin known to reduce your risk of getting sick during cold and flu season. Know what else could reduce your risk of cold and flu? Stuffing such a high volume of orange, lime and lemon wedges into your body so that at last you become purely antioxidant and non-human. Finally, you will be replaced by one beaming orange arc, representative of the optimum level of immunity from damaging agents that no human woman will ever possess. Women the world over will come to bask in your warm glow, drinking orange juice by the gallon so that they too might transcend their sickly, useless female bodies like you have and be blasted into the stratosphere as their own orange beam of light.
So there you have it! The top antioxidant-rich foods to consume until your dumb human body becomes a walking heap of antioxidants. Good luck!