The weather’s getting colder and the leaves are starting to change colors, which means it’s time to don the hottest autumnal offerings. Summer was a bona fide dreamscape of love as you gallivanted around with Paul, but he’s gone now and that’s totally fine because look at these top Fall 2014 accessories!
Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you can’t embody the back-to-school spirit with a chic fall backpack! Whether the satchel is leather or canvas, you just won’t be able to stop thinking about the time Paul said you must have been the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. It’s been really hard to sleep since he left.
Fur accents are very in this season, bringing a hint of luxury to your coat, bag, or shoes! Everyone deserves a bit of fur flair, even if Paul was a vegan and probably would be weirded out by it. But then again, Paul was always surprising you, like when he said he’d never read a horoscope before. He was so sexy when he was being eccentric, but that’s an Aquarius for you! You just can’t stop weeping in public places.
Dress up any ensemble with chandelier earrings! This would have been a great for a typical night on the town with Paul, or even a gala without Paul. You never actually went to any fancy event with Paul, but the thought of the two of you getting dressed up for some big fundraiser still kind of makes you wet.
Brighten up a traditionally earthy fall palette with large gilded peonies or a small rose pendant—either way, you won’t be able to stop thinking about the time you and Paul screwed in the apartment he was plant-sitting in, or the time he weirdly but sweetly asked who “deflowered” you. Does he still think about you as much as you think about him? Flowers are just petals on sticks.
Pair some tried-and-true knee-high boots with dark wash jeans, a dress and tights, or that one skirt you wore to Thanksgiving at Paul’s parents’ house. It was a seven-hour drive to get to their place, but it was maybe the best holiday you’ve ever had. You really thought Martha and Jim were going to be your in-laws. Oh my god, you just realized you’re probably never going to see them again. Oh god. Oh god.
Whether they’re big, colorful, or clutching Paul’s shirt begging him not to go to grad school in Portland, this fall is all about clutches that make a statement. Here’s another statement: Paul, please come back.
Bring some summer into fall by “sporting” a baseball cap. That’s a pun Paul would have really loved. You have to go out and buy your own, because Paul made you give his Lakers hat back to him. This hurts so much. What if you got hit by falling plane parts? Would he visit you in the hospital if you were sort of dying?
It’s getting colder but the sun still shines. Supposedly. You haven’t been out in days.
You didn’t even need Paul to marry you, you just wanted to spend time with him forever. You told him this, but he didn’t seem to care? Forever is meaningless now. Wait, hold on, some guy just messaged you on Tinder who kind of has Paul’s widow’s peak. Suck it, Paul!