We’ve all been there: You’re juggling family, a career, and bleeding. Who among us hasn’t thought, “Wait! Did I remember to put in a tampon before I left the house this morning?” and just shoved another one in, just in case? FYI: You really shouldn’t do that! Here are six ways to remember if you already inserted your super-plus lady-time friend!
Tuck the tampon wrapper in your pocket. Every time you move, you’ll hear a crinkly sound, as if the wrapper is speaking to you, saying, “HEY! Remember, you have a wad of cotton up inside your hoo-ha!” If you have two wrappers in your pocket, you know you’ve done something terribly, terribly wrong.
Tie a tampon around your finger. You’ll have to buy twice as many tampons, but at least you’ll know when you have a tampon inside of you, because there’ll be one outside of you, too.
Set a reminder on your phone that goes off every ten minutes, saying, “YOU HAVE A TAMPON IN RIGHT NOW.” Not only will this help you remember you’re sporting a cork for your lady-liquid, you can pass the beeps off as text messages and seem super popular!
Stick your hand down your pants and feel around. If anyone asks what you’re doing, begin a tirade about how if it’s socially acceptable for men to scratch their balls in public, women should be able to feel around their menstrual mansions for their sisterly strings.
Right after you put one in, tweet, “Just put in a tamp!” and when you take it out, tweet, “It’s ‘no more tamp time!’” Then, you can just check your own Twitter feed. This also works well with Foursquare.
Switch to pads. You’ll get to spend less time thinking about feminine hygiene, and more time thinking about what sort of things are collecting down there. Fortunately you don’t have to look for 8-24 hours!
Keeping these tips in mind will keep you out of the ER for toxic shock syndrome AGAIN!