People judge you by the company you keep – so what do you do when your ugly friend wants to be in a group picture at your next gathering? Whether your friend is newly ugly or has always been ugly, here are some tips that will keep you looking popular and maintain your “hot girl” image.
1. Let Them Take the Picture
Ugly friends are often the best photographers. Praise them for how great their pictures come out – it’ll probably be true! Ugly people are notoriously great at the arts, as they have to accommodate for their poor looks with other skills. Behind the camera is where they belong!
2. Seize The Moment
Undesirables are often found lingering in the bathroom. It’s best to take pictures secretly while they are in the ladies room adjusting their leg braces, touching up the staggering amount of foundation they require to look human, or taking an over-hydrated, bloated person pee break.
3. It’s Hip To Be Square
Instagram crops all pictures to a square. Position your fugly friend on the end and then let Instagram do the rest of the work with a mercy crop. At worst, she’ll leave a comment saying “Hey! I was in this!” Ignore such comments and let her “get the picture” on her own. Get it?
4. Somebody Put Tall Girl in the Corner
It’s not uncommon to find one monster-sized girl in a friend group. You can help her in one “huge” way – creatively cover her up! Have items such as balloons, floral arrangements, or protest signs handy and “spontaneously” produce them as the picture is being taken in a way that obstructs the girl-liath. Working tall-covering props into a girls night out can be tricky, but well worth it.
5. Lose the Weight
YOU love your fat friend (she’s the funniest!) but that love does not translate to social media. My favorite trick is to challenging everyone to do some physical activity like running a 10-minute mile, and then having the photoshoot at the finish line before she gets there. Crisis averted! Feelings spared!
6. Be Direct
Sometimes honesty is the best policy. Despite your best efforts, Margaret has gotten wind that you all are taking a photo by the pool. Step up and be the heavy (not literally like Margaret) and tell her to get her weirdly flat ass out of there. In time she will understand (but if she doesn’t, just buy her some shapewear).
There is nothing more important in life than friendship (except cute pictures!). So, until you can trade in for a hotter version of your friend, use these tips to have the best of both worlds.