We know that the only thing better than a pat on the back from your beau is a pat on the backside. And while it’s great to let things get a little kinky in the bedroom, it’s essential that he shows you enough R-E-S-P-E-C-T to honor your equality outside the bedroom. Here are some helpful phrases he can throw out mid-spank to remind you that you’re both equals.
1. “We need to close the wage gap.”
While deep in the throes of a spank sesh, your guy can prove that while you may not be equals in the workforce, you are definitely equals in the boudoir. Clapping each cheek as a toy monkey claps his cymbals, your guy can do his part to close that wage gap by enthusiastically closing the gap between his hand and your ass. Wow, your bae is so woke!
2. “Can I borrow some cash?”
This fun phrase will help keep the power and his checkbook balanced. Having him hit you up for a few hundred bucks while tapping your tushie will let everyone know that the net power imbalance in this act of sexual play has been corrected. Is your man too uncomfortable to ask for a loan? He can ask for other favors instead—your Netflix password, a job reference, a spare kidney, whatever you’ve got that he doesn’t!
3. “Me next, brah.”
Pull out the old fraternity paddle! You get to practice a little role reversal AND bring bae back to his college days. Have your little rushee give you a good hazing, but in a way that reminds everyone that you are both each others “brah”s—which is to say, equals. If he doesn’t still have his paddle, feel free to flog your guy with a wooden kitchen spoon or his copy of The Feminine Mystique.
4. “(silent, meaningful tears)”
There’s nothing more empowering than a sexy thwack directly followed by some silent weeping. Is he moved to tears by your unyielding femininity? Is he erotizing a childhood of spankings? We don’t know. But what we do know is that whoever’s not crying is automatically more powerful, so go ahead and chalk this one up as a win, girlfriend!
5. “While you might enjoy the physical sensation of me spanking your buttocks along with the emotional and mental release you receive from assuming a submissive role, the fact that you’re even able to entertain these notions make me fully realize how strong in will and mind you truly are—and for that, I admire you.”
Wow, what a sensitive guy you have! That’s so hot.
6. “We are equals.”
Kind of straightforward and vanilla, but this one gets the point across. You’re equals—sweet! Now, pull out the blindfold and let him whack you like a dirty rug.
There you have it, gals. You can totally keep your kink while keeping the power. Spank away!