Whether you’re in a relationship or just want to be in one, chances are you’ve found yourself wondering, “Who the fuck is that bitch?” Instead of having an open and honest discussion about where you stand with your man, use one of our irresistible tips instead to find out who that ugly twat is who liked his status about loving bacon. You’ll feel secure and adorable again in no time!
1. Say it with cupcakes!
Bake him cupcakes and use the frosting to spell out, “Who is Alison?” Men can’t resist a woman that can bake AND remain vigilant about his social media behavior! He’ll love how domestic you are and won’t feel totally confronted by the question at all! Who is that bitch, anyway?!
2. Ask him what he had for lunch.
Send lunch to his workplace and sign it from the girl who keeps favoriting his tweets. Then send him a picture of your lunch (a lemon and two cherry tomatoes hehehe) and ask him what he’s having. He’ll think it’s so cute you’re checking up on him that he won’t even deny that how pathetic her attempts for attention are. You hope.
3. Play dress-up!
Tell him you’re going to slip into something more comfortable and then come out of your room wearing the same American Apparel cut-out dress that the girl was wearing in the photo that she tagged him in. Print out a picture of her face and wear it as a mask. Ask him if he thinks you are sexy. It’s a trick question; there’s no right answer. Mind games are so cute! NAME THAT BITCH, NOW.
4. Send him a selfie.
Send him a selfie of you hanging out with the girl that keeps commenting “lol” on all of his lame statuses. It doesn’t matter if you’re not friends already, because you’ve stalked her Facebook so much you know exactly where she goes on the weekends. Caption the photo, “look who I ran into ;)” and watch him squirm his way out of this one. lol.
5. Decorate his room!
Sneak into his room when he’s at work and put up all the pictures she tagged him in on Instagram, even ones from before you two met. He’ll think it’s adorable that you noticed at all, and will unfollow her right then and there!
6. Do his laundry.
What’s cuter than a girl who can clean? Do his laundry for him as a cute and flirty surprise! Make sure to empty out all his pockets and look for any incriminating receipts. Is he buying Fireball shots for somebody else? Did he get a bottle of wine at dinner? He’s definitely cheating on you with that girl who liked his status. But at least you know now, and he has clean, adorable clothes.