Having the opportunity to show your vagina to a celebrity is an amazing experience. It can happen at parties, in beds and on sets—basically wherever there is a celebrity and your vagina. And while there are some celebrities who I want to show my vagina to and then also let them touch it, there are other celebrities who I want to show my vagina to then slap their hand away when they get too close. Here are six celebrities who can see, but mustn’t touch, or else their hand will be slapped!
Jake Gyllenhaal
Jake Gyllenhaal has been a famous man for a very long time. He has a good face, so I would love to show him my vagina. However, he has been quoted as saying, “Do I take care of my body and take conditioning seriously? Yes.” For that reason, I still want him to see my vagina, but I will be slapping his hand away if he gets too close. Sorry Jake.
Drake
Drake is a good singer and makes cool music videos. He dated Rihanna but then lost her. He is hot, but not the most hot. I would definitely show him my vagina so that I could feel closer to Rihanna and hear about her vagina. But, I would slap his hand away, because he makes better music when he’s sad about girls. Maybe I could be one of those girls?
Shia LaBeouf
I would definitely take out my vagina for Shia LaBeouf. He would probably do a monologue to it or put it in a museum. The thing is if he tried to touch it, I would slap his hand away. He would probably scream out of frustration and kick a table so hard it broke. I think I could destroy him.
Lin-Manuel Miranda
I’d show him my vagina because I feel like he’d describe it really well using his words and maybe a rhythm. But he’s married and I don’t want to ruin his wholesome image. I would also slap his hand away because I don’t want him to write a musical about it or something embarrassing like that.
Fergie
I definitely want her to see my vagina because I feel like she’d be real with me about if it’s good, and also she’s so hot. Even so, I would slap her hand away because she coined the phrase “lady lumps” and also you shouldn’t hook up with someone you may have deeper feelings for unless you have a conversation about it first.
Javier Bardem
Hee hee. I think actually I would not slap his hand away. Hee hee.
You can make your own list, or use mine, but it’s good to plan this out so you know if you’re going to slap or not when the time comes.
