Looking to impress your crush quick? Sure, you could use typical tactics, like sending a hotass sext or serenely holding a red rose on the beach as the full moon illuminates your sweet skin, but who wants to be typical when you can stand the hell out? Listed below are five foolproof ways of clapping sexily that are sure to startle your man so hotly he’ll be like, “Whoa! What?”
1. The Culinary Fresh Prince Clap
Sit outside his apartment in a chef’s uniform, pushing a cart of literally everything in your kitchen. Hold a fork in each hand and begin slapping them together while loudly rapping the Will Smith song of your choice, until he opens his door and goes, “What are you doing????” and then shout, “It’s dinner time!!!!” and clap the forks together while shaking your hips in a back and forth motion. He’s sure to say, “Ummm?”
2. The Totes-Random Angel Clap
At a crowded party? Hide behind a plant in the corner and take off your pants, staring at him from across the room. Do this for as long as it takes until he notices (sometimes hours!) and when he does, shake the sword in the air and shout, “It’s me, your… your fuckin’ guardian angel!!!!!” and when he fearfully mouths, “What the—” lay down on the ground and clap your feet together, laughing LOUDLY. Guys can’t resist! ;)
3. The Knowledgeable Sports Clap
Guys love a girl who is “real,” and by that we mean a hot one who likes sports! As you two are watching the big game at the bar, quietly take two footballs out of your purse, stand up on your chair, and shout “I’m just like one of the guys!!!!” and when he goes, “What is happening,” begin clapping the footballs together while scream-singing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game”. He’ll be wowed!
4. The Booty Clap
The dance floor is the perfect place to show your crush that you know all the hot moves to make him sweat. When you’re out on the floor with your girls and spot your crush eyeing you up, give him a little wink and clapping your hands to your ass, as if to say, “This is my ass,” while also audibly shouting, “This is my ass!” Then, SPRINT in his direction while clapping hotly. When his eyes widen and he turns to run, it’ll be too late—you’re already there! He’ll definitely say, “What the fuck!”
5. The Book Clap
Is your crush a studious bookworm? Studies show that guys who like to read also like girls with hands, and as the old T.S. Lewis quote goes, “Girls have hands that can clap and that’s hot as hell. I’m T.S. Lewis.” Show him your smart side by following him into the library clapping together two books and reciting a math problem you know and when he turns around and sees you and goes, “Uh, what—” you flirtatiously clap your hands to your knees and shriek whisper, “Time for class, book boy!!!!” You’re a hot nightmare!
So put your sexting phones away and start banging those hands together, ladies. Hot clap your way into his heart and he won’t be able to resist screaming, “Why are you—Why are you doing this???”