Breakups are hard – but nothing is harder than being broke. There’s so much going through your head during a breakup that you may struggle to find how you can make money from it. Here are our tips to turn all that pain into a steady cash flow:
Comb His Wallet for Gift Cards
Any card that’s been sitting unused for at least six months is fair game. Most men have at least two iTunes gift cards on them at any given moment – using the same service that brought three years of non-stop Slipknot, you can afford to download Beyoncé’s visual album legally!
Sell His HBO GO Password
One of the reasons you started dating him in the first place was that sweet, sweet HBO GO password. Now that you’ve memorized it, talk about your favorite show’s latest cliffhanger until your friends feel compelled to fork over a few bucks for access.
Take Custody of the Coin Jar
You two won’t be doing laundry together again anytime soon, so this spare change is rightfully yours. If he catches you trying to sneak out with 15 pounds of coins, just tell him you consider this old sauce jar a trophy for enduring the 300th wash and wear of his college sweatpants.
Sell His Drug Stash
He trusted you to know where he hides his weed. Now go find it and unload it on his druggie friends. Who knew the constant drug use that ended your relationship would be a blessing in disguise – hello free pedicure!
Throw an Estate Sale With His Possessions
Sure, he’s still alive. But you wish he was dead, and he forgot to ask for his keys back! Haul all his stuff out on the front lawn and start auctioning things off, just like when Grandpa passed but at way higher prices.
With a little bit of moxie and a wire hanger to pick his lock, you’ll be raking in the dough before he can say, “Let’s get back together.” You can get through this!