Are you worried that your main squeeze is getting ready to kick you to the curb? Well, nobody’s gonna just up and dump you without thinking twice. If you want to salvage the remnants of your relationship, or at least plant the seeds of regret in his mind, prep for the “we have to talk” convo wearing one of these four killer outfits:
The Little Black Dress That Made His Friend Hit on You
Yes, he liked that dress, but his friend Jeff liked it more. Reminding him of this jealousy will absolutely make him fear losing you again. He’ll probably even become ultra-protective, just like he was when you first started dating. Make sure to remind him that Jeff touched your butt in that dress, and you two are in for one long, relationship-sustaining talk.
That Hoodie He Let You Borrow
You did it on countless weekend mornings, and now’s the time to wear his oversized hoodie once again. Not only will you feel confident in his musk, but you’d only will you feel confident in his favorite hoodie. That piece of shit will feel guilty that you love it so much and how could you possibly leave someone with a love like that? Guilt is essential into making him think twice about leaving you for good this time.
The jeans that “make your ass look weird, I dunno”
Wearing the jeans that caused an enormous fight at Chipotle will make him feel too bad about what he said to actually dump you. He’ll see the jeans and instantly panic, knowing that you will blame the break-up on the jeans, and you totally will. You totally will.
A Sad Costume
It will be the conversation starter that leaves him genuinely concerned for your sanity. Why are you wearing this? He’ll ask. And you’ll laugh! Then he’ll laugh! It will be SO fun! You might even find out he has a secret interest in cosplay you didn’t know about before. How kinky and fun! Look how thoughtful and open-minded you are. You are the best girlfriend he has ever had and things are just getting interesting and he should never leave you ever.
With outfits like these, he’ll be reminded that you’re still fun, and acutely aware of his part in all of this. Look how thoughtful and open-minded you are. Dress as the best and most undumpable you!