Let’s face it: Katie has no problem letting you know when you’re not looking great with her quiet looks of concern, and there’s no way she’s going to celebrate your ability to find cute clothes in unlikely places. Here are some non-embarrassing stores you can rattle off quickly the next time she asks you where you got that top.
H&M
H&M has always been a respectable place to find affordable clothing. Chances are, Perfect Katie has a few oversized tees she sleeps in from there. Say H&M with confidence while pretending it’s not a $2.00 wrap dress made out of sawdust from Forever 21.
Bloomingdale’s
Like Katie’s relationship with dog-fosterer Mike, a high-end department store is a safe bet. Carrying a wide variety of brands, Bloomingdales doesn’t raise any immediate red flags. She’ll be excited to hear you bought that top next to Tory Burch flats and not where you actually did, at Sears, where you also bought your lawnmower.
Uniqlo
Uniqlo’s reputation for androgynous, well-made basics will definitely distract Katie from its dirt-cheap deals. Katie might not even be sure what they sell there, since it is not Ralph Lauren. By saying Uniqlo, you can take comfort in knowing that Katie will think of you as an international philanthropist rather than a girl who splurges on bulk socks.
LoveCulture
Like most people, Katie will not be familiar with LoveCulture as they do not have enough money to establish a brand. LoveCulture is essentially piles of garbage duct taped together, but sounds fun and quirky. On the totem pole of cheap clothes, LoveCulture falls somewhere between “yard sale” and “stealing someone else’s gym bag,” but what Katie doesn’t know won’t hurt you!
Your Sister Gave It To You To Borrow While She’s Pregnant
When all else fails, lie about your family. Although not a store, this response will be sure to raise no eyebrows or further questions. It also rejects the idea that you stole the top, which you did. No better deal than free!
Keep these stores on the tip of your tongue, and you’ll be sure to save Katie a couple of stank faces.
