Social norms constrain us to three meals per day. But with high-pressure jobs, demanding social lives, and the increasing likelihood that you’re getting a divorce, you may need to cushion life’s blows with some soft pretzels or a milkshake from time to time. Here are our favorite spots for undercover snacking:
Office Supply Closet
Volunteer to change the toner in the office printer – you’ll be a hero AND win yourself 30 free minutes to feast alone in the dark. Bring a meal from home, or help yourself to the candies that were meant to refill the jar by the reception desk.
You can eat as much as you want in the cozy anonymity of movie theater darkness. Splurge on candy and popcorn, or bring your own large pizza – just keep the ethnic food to the minimum so no weird smells draw stares during your 102 minutes of solo snack time.
The Gym Sauna
Friends will be impressed that you’re “making the time” to “take care of yourself” while you secretly enjoy a post-lunch pre-dinner endorphin rush from a delicious spread of Indian take-out.
In Between Subway Cars
Grip with all your strength and flatten your body against the cars while you dig into the dinner groceries early. It might be challenging to hold your groceries, but it’ll be totally worth eating 17 slices of bologna if you can enjoy it in an empty, judgment-free zone.
Fashion Show/Film Set/Cover Shoot
Visit any set where attractive, famous people appear on camera, and you’ll find a decadent craft services table that they’re all desperately trying to avoid. Those fancy doughnuts are yours for the taking!
Use these tips wisely: if anyone catches you eating, they’ll know that you’re eating, and will judge you accordingly. Happy snacking!