Everyone loves a feel-good movie, and we couldn’t be more excited about these four great new flicks that reinforce our delusional concept of love.
The Physics of Chemistry – Starring Sandra Bullock and Matthew McConaughey
Angela is just a lonely nuclear physicist with nothing exciting in her life except her groundbreaking work and circle of close friends – until she meets bad-boy rocker Charlie! You’ll love this movie if you believe the smart girls were put on this earth to tame the bad boys who finally bring them out of their nerdy shells!
The Man they Called Father – Starring Steve Carell and Miley Cyrus
Devin is a good dad who packs lunches, goes to plays, and tucks his six girls into bed every night. Party girl, Marcy, stays out until dawn, doing lines of coke off of stranger’s penises because she hates her deadbeat dad. But all that changes when a mix up with Marcy’s parole sentencing lands her in a job at Devin’s youngest daughter’s preschool. Feel like you just haven’t found the right father figure? Then this is the movie for you!
Journey Home Dog – Starring Jennifer Lawrence
Ace, a miniature schnauzer, is Brenda’s trusted companion, until a mixup at the airport sends him to Istanbul and her to Ohio. A great movie for anyone who thinks their relationship with their pet is really as meaningful as human relationships.
Baked Alaska – Starring Ryan Gossling and Olivia Munn
Ted has everything he ever wanted; a cabin in the woods, his trusted pet moose Knuckles, and the Alaskan countryside, that is until Ina, a lost young Inuit girl shows up ½ frozen and close to death. If you fancy abandoning your cultural upbringing and independence to live as a virtual concubine in an Alaskan man cave, you’ll want a second helping of Baked Alaska!
The Fixers – Starring Megan Fox and Bradley Cooper
Braden is a horrible piece of shit. Amanda is a clumsy moron. Will Amanda give up sweatpants and pluck her eyebrows? Will Braden give up antagonizing strippers and shaving his chest? If you believe you’ll finally get your life together once you find your broken other half, go see The Fixers!
Whatever false hope you have for the salvation of love, there’s a movie coming out this summer to reinforce it. So buy that popcorn and cross your fingers that you’ll find love the next seat over!