We love long-distance running for a lot of reasons, but the best one is that amazing runner’s high! While distance running does take quite a bit of training, time, and energy, it’s still pretty clear that that high is nothing compared to drugs that are much easier to do than running far. Here are some of the best exercise highs that still don’t even come close to Molly.
Running is full-body cardio, a simple workout, and something you can do nearly anywhere. Runners regularly feel a rush of endorphins during and after their run that can last for 10 minutes or more! Molly, on the other hand, requires no running at all and lasts for hours! Maybe your friend Becka who constantly tries to get you into running just hasn’t heard of Molly? Maybe you should give her some Molly so she doesn’t have to run anymore. You could save her from herself!
Cycling has many of the benefits of running, but you get to go even faster and there’s way less smashing your joints into pavement. The euphoria that comes after cycling often feels similar to a runner’s high, which is why it’s nowhere near as good as dancing all night on Molly (or basically any other drug). Look down at your bike and imagine it was a big pile of molly. Now THAT will get your BP up! If Becka really wants to feel a high, show her how you can actually do Molly on a cycling bike! That way when the cycler’s high runs down, you’ve still got the fun high left! Do you have a problem? Maybe! But it beats paying for spin classes, right?
Rock Climbing High
Great for building strength and endurance, the rock climbing high can also be accompanied by the ecstasy of standing on top of a mountain you’ve conquered. But, like, if you really want to feel ecstasy, you should just try ecstasy, ya know? You’ll feel exactly the same as you would on a mountain you won’t have to be near bugs. Next time Becka invites you rock climbing, tell her that you’d rather spend your life getting high than trying to get high on life. Mountain climber’s high could potentially end with you in a full body cast, but ecstasy probably won’t. Well, it totally could, but at least you’ll be on ecstasy when it happens.
So next time Becka is bragging about her Pilates high, remind her that Molly is cheaper than a gym membership and easier to get (unless your drug dealer is asleep again). And then maybe try to get your friend hooked on drugs so she doesn’t always bother you about her natural high, because she will already have all the high she needs!