After an evening of watered-down drinks and mediocre banter, sometimes you just want to get the heck out of there! But even if you’re not exactly feeling your date, you’re going to want to let him down easy. Just break out one of these sure-fire excuses… except for the fact that they won’t work because he also clicked on this link and he will catch you immediately. Whoops!
Tell Him You Have Work in the Morning
Politely excuse yourself from the date by telling him you have some pretty pressing deadlines. As much as you’d love to stay, you have to get up early for work! It’s the easiest excuse to make, but it’s also the easiest one to see through. Even though you’re trying to be polite, he’s going to think that you’re rude. You’re using an excuse that you read in a listicle, which coincidentally, he read too. Everyone has to work and now he knows you just don’t want to be around him anymore.
Say You’re Starting Your Period
Periods are gross! Of course he’ll think that you should go home immediately if you bring up the “P” word. Unless he read this article, which he did. In that case, he’s going to know that “Old Faithful” is nowhere near going off and you’re just trying to get rid of him. Sorry!
Fake a Food Allergy
Pretend like you’re allergic to parsley and whoops! You didn’t realize that your burger had so much parsley in it! It sounds like a thin excuse, but it would totally work if one of his co-workers didn’t share this article on Facebook a week ago with that same very specific excuse. He told himself he was reading it “for fun” but he was genuinely trying to find out which girls were trying to escape talking to him any longer. Now he knows who you truly are.
Fake an Emergency With a Friend
Have your friend send you a text, then tell him something specific like, “My roommate, Whitney, from freshman year of college’s cat, Dinah, has diarrhea.” Adding details like this will make the excuse seem more real. Unless he read this, which he did, then he’ll know that there is no Whitney, which he does. Also, you left your phone out on the table and he can see that you texted your friend what’s clearly a code word. It’s almost like you want him to catch you in your lie!
Pretend Like You Just Saw Someone You Want to Avoid
Uh oh! The best way to suddenly leave a date you feel stuck in is to lie and say you just saw your mortal enemy and you want to avoid the drama! But saying this is actually going to cause more drama, because he’s going to call you out on your lie. That’s why you make excuses in the first place! So he won’t give you a hard time in the middle of a bar!
When you’re out on a date, remember to have fun, remember to be yourself, and remember that you’re not the only one with access to the internet! Fuck!