We’ve all experienced unavoidable embarrassing moments that Katie just won’t shut up about. Whether it’s accidentally drooling while telling a story, sending a text to the wrong person, or having broccoli lodged in our teeth, Katie will somehow find out about it and constantly bring it up at parties, small gatherings, on social media, and double dates. Katie is the diary of your shame. Here are her fave moments, in order of the frequency that Katie likes to bring it up:
That Soccer Game When Your Shorts Got Pulled Down And Everyone Saw The Birthmark On Your Butt
Katie was always the best soccer player in your friend group, so it makes sense that she loves talking about the single most mortifying game in which your opponent’s cleats accidentally pulled your shorts down, revealing your large, rashy birthmark to the entire crowd. She seems to conveniently “remember” this whenever you are meeting new business contacts together.
That Time Your Hot Boss Caught You Crying In Your Cubicle While Watching The Goofy Movie
This marks a seminal embarrassing moment in your life as you had the triple whammy of your boss catching you slack off, your boss being unbearably hot and unattainable, and your boss discovering your deep-seated love for Goofy. This is definitely Katie’s all-time favorite embarrassing moment to bring up at parties, brunches, on the phone, and on busy street corners.
The Stoned Thanksgiving Where You Thought It Was A Good Idea To Stuff A Turkey With Cheetos
Everyone gets it, you were in college – you were experimenting with drugs and recipes. But Katie can’t shut up about how you might not be the best cook because of this one stupid idea you had OVER THREE YEARS AGO! She brings it up to any of your boyfriends, coworkers, and waitstaff who will listen! She also neglects to mention that it tasted PRETTY GOOD.
The Whole Year You Dedicated To Air Guitar, Only To Get Rejected From The US Air Guitar Championship
Katie absolutely loves bringing up the dark period in your life immediately following your broken engagement, in which you spent months entrenching yourself in the serious subculture of competitive air guitar. Katie’s favorite part of this painful and embarrassing part of your life is the fact that despite your pathetic dedication and hours of expensive coaching, you still failed to even achieve a competitive level of skill at the most useless imitation of music ever. Katie will bring this up over group text at least once a month, with screengrabs of your entry video to boot.
Your Whole Relationship With That Juggalo, Frank
Katie knows the embarrassment of your relationship with Juggalo Frank isn’t limited to one singular embarrassing moment, but rather encapsulates a whole horrible phase of your life. This is exactly why she loves talking about him so much! Juggalo Frank represents not only your codependent past ability to fall in love with ludicrous people, but your total absence of fashion sense, intellectual confidence, or music taste! She brings this up often on her popular vlog, “Katie Explains It All”.
Katie is like an elephant: She never forgets, especially these things.