Talking about our current administration at the Thanksgiving dinner table, surrounded by extended family whose politics you may not be familiar with, can get downright contentious. But your family is black! They’re all on the same page about our shitty prez. So here are five alternate controversial conversation topics to stir things up, anyway.
Original Aunt Viv vs. Replacement Aunt Viv
Did the producers really think we wouldn’t notice when they switched up Aunt Viv after the third season? Why didn’t we do more at the time when the Fresh Prince pulled a fast one on us? The true controversy, though, lies in which Aunt Viv was arguably better. Your mom will say the original Aunt Viv because they had the same haircut in back in the day, your woke cousin will inevitably bring up the blatant influence of colorism involved in the decision to switch, and absolutely no one will mention or think about our Commander-in-chief that none of them voted for.
Two Words: Steve Harvey
From making jokes about Flint residents enjoying their “nice brown water”, to the leaked memo he sent out to staff imploring them not to approach him, to his snafu at the Miss Universe Pageant, Steve Harvey is a walking, talking controversy. Your nana will defend him because he’s a God-fearing churchgoer like you should be, your tipsy great-aunt will call him “fine as wine,” and the whole conversation will be blissfully free from discussion about the leader of the free world who exactly zero of you had a part in electing.
When are we Gonna Stop Letting Aunt Deborah’s Church Friend Nancy Make the Banana Pudding?
Miss Nancy has been coming to Thanksgiving at yours for as long as you can remember, and has been making bunk banana pudding the entire time. Now, this topic of discussion has to be handled with utmost delicacy. You can’t just come out and tell the old lady that her dessert isn’t cutting it, but something needs to be said for the sake of future Thanksgivings. Your twin cousins will shoot each other looks after each bite, stifling laughs, your brother-in-law will smack their arms under the table to shut them up, and nary an individual will exhaust any effort in arguing about Mr. Not-Our-President because nobody at the table or in your family considered voting for him for even a second.
Can we still watch The Cosby Show?
Uh oh, watch out – this one might get a little uncomfortable. Sure, you all enjoyed the sitcom as a family in the late 80s. But can you still enjoy it today, after all the heinous allegations against the show’s creator and star? Get ready for some Thanksgiving table controversy! Your outspoken, old-school uncle will say something like “Well that’s just the way it was back in the day.” All your aunts will be staring daggers through your other uncles, daring them to even nod in agreement, and all the while not a single person will consider broaching a discussion about a different sexual predator who none of us voted for, who is somehow still our country’s president.
Do We Let Rachel Dolezal into the Club or Not?
This one isn’t actually that big of a controversy – we all know the answer to this question. But it’ll be just another on the long list of issues you’ll touch upon to get your fix for what other families will inevitably descend into fighting about at the Thanksgiving table.
Talking politics is something you and your family will probably feel left out of this year, because our nation’s current politics were in no way chosen or endorsed by any of you. So use any one of these other tendentious topics to bring the controversy back to your holiday dinner!