If you want to expand your wardrobe, and your vibe is “muted business casual”, it’s time for you to go to LOFT. And although sorting through a million racks of floral blouses is going to make you feel like a boring mom waiting for a hair appointment, that’s nothing that can’t be fixed by blasting a few Cardi B songs! So here are 5 Cardi B jams that will make you feel like one badass bitch, despite the fact that you’re shopping at LOFT.
Nothing hits harder than a song that immediately starts by saying “be grown, suck a dick, be nasty.” And you’ll feel grown and nasty as hell while looking for those grey slacks that aren’t too high waisted, but just enough that you can tuck in your button up completely. Clearly you’re that bad bitch everyone loves to hate and hates to love. Okurrr!
Sure, LOFT is like the clothing version of a willow tree in the stage of bloom where it’s not interesting anymore, but shopping there doesn’t mean you can’t also be a chick that doesn’t play around. Listen to Cardi B baby! Who that on fleek in the cut? YOU are in this deserted LOFT outlet. Now go on and find the perfect stylish yet smart flats for work, you hella bad bitch!
We all know the LOFT struggle of trying to pick between the plain white sweater and the also plain eggshell sweater. But Cardi B says, “Hit the store, I can get em’ both, I don’t wanna choose”. So walk straight to the cashier with both of them, because a true baddie never has to pick. Throw them on the counter and swipe that LOFT Rewards card, bitch!
If you’re shopping for a new outfit that will make your ex jealous and his new girlfriend worried, a LOFT outfit is not the right choice. But here you are. So turn on this song, where Cardi says “If a bitch beef with me we gon’ beef foreva”. The bad bitch energy will lead you to the right chunky statement necklace to wear while “accidentally” spilling a drink on Harry’s new girlfriend and then say “ooops” while walking away smiling. You’re SO BAD.
Honestly, LOFT has some pretty decent sales. If you go in to take a look and find yourself in a war with someone over the last light pink bell sleeve top, scream the lyrics “you don’t know me hoe, you don’t know me bro, you don’t know me just move”. And snatch that shirt right out of her hand. You might be a LOFT customer, but that doesn’t mean you can’t cut a bitch. Let the song move you!
So if you absolutely have to shop at LOFT for work clothes or something, try jammin’ to these Cardi B songs. Become the bad bitch you know you can be, even though you’re at the most boring store in the world.