When it comes to job interviews, every little detail can make a difference. From your clothes, to your posture, to your use of the word “literally;” literally everything you do, from walking into the room to getting home that night, will determine whether you get that job. So why risk losing an opportunity by not wearing a barrette? Here are five barrettes that will guarantee that the interview ends with a hearty handshake and the job of your dreams:
1. The Go-for-the-Bronze Barrette
What better way to say, “I’m middle management material” than with this gorgeous barrette? It screams, “I’m not gold or silver! I’m a bronze! I’ll work hard, occasionally get noticed, and ultimately do worse than the A+ and even some of the B employees here. A younger person will be my boss one day, and I’ll be perfectly okay with it!”
2. The Distracter: Crystal Barrette
Your interviewer will be so dumbfounded by your Swarovski crystal-encrusted sparkling hair that she’ll hardly listen to your answers, which is great for when you’ve forged your resume and degrees to get there. Who needs real credentials when you have barrettes? Consider this dazzling number an investment in your future… in this industry about which you are dangerously undereducated.
3. The Homemade Barrette
This handmade starfish barrette is bound to be a conversation starter. “Ma’am, I don’t mean to alarm you, but there is an echinoderm in your hair,” they’ll say, to which you’ll give a hearty laugh and dive right into a story involving a memorable beach weekend. Nothing says, “I can fix your company” like, “I found this on the ground and superglued it to a bobby pin.”
4. The Classic Professional: Antique Barrette
Trying to show your prospective employer that you’re wise beyond your five years of experience? Then be sure to pair this vintage number with your interview outfit. Maybe it’s your mother’s keepsake, but maybe you happen to be old enough for it to have aged in your possession. Your interviewer will never know, since they’re legally not allowed to ask your age! Nothing makes it harder to guess a woman’s age like a classic barrette.
5. Intimidate Your Peers: The Bone Barrette
When you toss your hair in greeting, make sure they see this intimidating barrette made from the rib of an elk. You want them to know that you’re a hunter in every sense of that word. You’re pursuing this job as feverishly as you would track, shoot, and tear the bones from an innocent woodland creature. Your potential coworkers should be a little bit afraid of you, and nothing will do the trick like a decorative hair accessory made from one of your recent kills.
Face it: the job market is competitive, and the only way to get a competitive edge over other women is with the right barrette. Take this as seriously as you take this career. Now, go break that glass ceiling!