Let’s face it, single ladies: You’re far more likely to choke on an undercooked noodle than you are to find love anytime soon. But have no fear—if you live alone and would prefer not to choke to death in your kitchen while your cat watches, here are a few dining sets that are not only super cute, but also can effectively be used to perform the self-Heimlich maneuver in a pinch!
1. PS 2012 (IKEA, $369)
The natural curvature of the chairs in this IKEA dining set is perfectly contoured for maximum comfort. Simply kneel backwards on the seat, and allow the chair to cradle your midsection, easing out any unwelcome foodstuffs. You’re hardly living alone with these friendly chairs there to save you!
2. Threshold Brookline Dining Collection (Target, $199.99-299.99)
The chairs included in this dining set from Target are perfect for women living alone for the first time in years. Without the gentle human touch of roommates or ex-boyfriends, these tufted, pillowy chairs are a comfy way to transition into lifelong spinsterhood. You’re newly independent, so your torso has not yet become accustomed to being slammed against the back of a chair. These chairs will get you through this transition phase in maximum comfort.
3. Farmhouse Dining Furniture Collection (World Market, $819.97)
With artisan and rustic food having a moment, it only makes sense that your dining furniture reflects that trend. These simple yet effective chairs evoke all the luxury of farmhouse living, and the sturdy backs of the chairs are ready for even the most stubborn choking hazards.
4. Regal Manor Dining Set (Raymour & Flanigan, $1,499)
Live out your Downton Abbey fantasies with this choke-friendly dining set from Raymour & Flanigan. The distinctive tip of the back of the chair allows the user to precisely target the piece of lodged food and expel it with ease. The decadent upholstery will make you feel like the lady of the manor, with nary a chunk of veal blocking her lonely yet elegant windpipe.
These dining sets are not only the perfect for a relaxing meal, they’re also ideal for forcibly propelling your abdomen against to dislodge that piece of cashew chicken. They blend classic shapes with modern design that your dinner guests would appreciate, if you ever had any. Most importantly, these sets let you have your cake and thrust it out, too!
