3 Things To Do After Sex That’ll Have Your Vagina Politely Queefing, ‘Much Obliged!’

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After a passionate evening of lovemaking, it’s important to take time to give your vagina some TLC. And while you may be taking steps to ensure its continued health and wellness, keeping up with your pussy’s nascent interest in 19th-century social etiquette can also be a channel to its post-coital care. Try these four after-sex tips that’ll have your vagina politely queefing, “Much obliged!” with the dignity and benevolence of a noblewoman of the Victorian era!

Pee.

After a tender sex sesh, you may be tempted to stay in bed and exchange sweet nothings with your lover. However, bacteria can hole-up in your urethra and increase the likelihood of your muff coming down with an unfortunate infection. Kindly excuse yourself to the bathroom and flush the bad out by peeing. Afterward, you and your partner alike can rejoice in the gratitude of your satisfied vagina, as she emphatically toots, “Many thanks indeed, milady!”

Do a lil wipe down.

Post-fuck, your womanhood may feel it needs a bit of a cleanup after being drenched in lube, saliva, and other foreign bacteria. Take a warm, wet washcloth and gently pat down your nether regions, making sure to go from front to back. Once finished, prepare for the onslaught of your vagina’s gracious front farts, as they chime out “You have my undying gratitude!”

Air it out.

Once you’ve freshened up down there, protect against UTIs and other lady maladies by wearing cotton underwear and loose-fitting pajamas. This helps to eliminate the damp, dark crevices where bacteria thrives and keeps your vagina healthy and happy: So happy, that you’ll be able to make out the undeniable “Oh how wonderful! What joy! Many blessings!” your vagina will angelically poot.

Follow the three post-sex practices above and your vagina will thank you. Literally, it will queef out its praises and thanks so emphatically and clear that you and anyone around you will be unable to ignore it and frankly be a bit freaked out by it! Good luck!

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