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Woman Spends Entire Day Getting Ready to Take a Walk
‘We’ll Never Flip The Senate,’ Says Boy Who Thinks He’s Helping
BREAKING: Introverts Having a Fucking Ball
‘We Bet You’ve Got Time For Us Now, Motherfucker,’ Asserts Duolingo
Hospitals Urging More Women to Give Birth in Uber on the Way Over
Journaling Promoted to Full-time Job
Nutritionists Recommend Eating a Few More of Whatever in Closest Reach
Aunt Betty Finds Another Way To Misspell ‘Quarantine’
‘What If You Just Didn’t Let It Bother You?’ Muses Therapist Cryptically
Air Quality In Sephora Best It’s Been In Decades
Dad Accidentally Makes Some Compelling Points About Gender Performance During ‘Drag Race’
Fear of Coronavirus Finally Edges Out Fear of Toxic Shock Syndrome
REPORT: It Would Be Very Funny If All Cats Had Randy Jackson’s Voice
Vagina Prepares for Soft Opening This Summer
Scientists Suggest Surplus 30 Million Barrels of Oil Be Used For Daughter’s Dry, Awful Hair
Person You Don’t Know Has Their Instagram On Private???
Contactless Delivery Familiar to Children of Divorce
Woman Now Masturbating to Idea of Picnic
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