As a woman, the world is constantly clamoring for me – always looking for Anita to save the day. I don’t know what the world would do without me, saving the day all time.
You want to know who unloaded that dishwasher? It was me – Anita. I watched those perfectly clean dishes sit in there for over a week. I thought I’d get the message across with a post-it. Nope. Did anybody thank me? Nope. It’s okay – this office would implode without me. I understand.
Advice? Don’t even get me started. Just last month, I found out my neighbor Sandra’s ex-husband was living in her basement since their divorce two years ago. I had to take time out of my own stressful day to walk next door and tap my loaner copy The Purpose-Driven Life before dropping it on her doorstep. She didn’t say a word, never mind a polite “thank you” for fixing her dysfunctional family life. Can you believe her? It’s fucking exhausting shaping the lives of everyone around me.
Sigh. Long, audible sigh.
What about when we ran out of bottled water in the office? Guess who went all the way to the bathroom to fill the Keurig with sink water. Yep, Anita. You couldn’t get through the day without me.
And this is the LAST time I hire two men off the street to remove the rusty truck from the Keleci’s front yard while they are out of town. I don’t care if the truck still worked. This town would literally begin to rust without me.
How about Julie’s homeless daughter with the drug problem? I prayed for her. You’re welcome.
Get that crown off my head, cause I am not your savior! I, too, am on a journey. I am perfectly capable of fixing your flawed life, but you are seriously challenging the strength of my spirit with everything I have to fix without your permission.
Don’t worry – I went through your mail and threw out all the junk. I know how you let those catalogues pile up and then order stuff you don’t need.