8 Sex Positions That Will Blow His Mind And Destroy His Penis

Sometimes you want to make love. And sometimes, you just want to destroy your man’s penis. Check out the eight sex positions below that’ll be sure to rock his cock off.

sexpositions_1

1. The Flip-it-and-reverse-it Corkscrew

Have your man lie on his back and mount him reverse-cowgirl style, facing his feet. Then go into a mini-backbend with the back of your head towards his face. Now grind into him like your trying to free a cork out of wine bottle with a broken corkscrew. The painful grip is sure to destroy his penis.

sexpositions_5

 

 

2. The One-Two Punch

This one’s not so much a sex position as it is an intimate way to relieve stress. After a long day of work, come home, light some candles, put on your favorite tunes, then punch your man in the dick. This will definitely take him by surprise, and you will most certainly destroy his penis.

sexpositions_3

3. Under the Bleachers

Not ready for home base? There are plenty of ways to satisfy your man without going all the way. Consider giving him a hand-job and never stopping ever. His penis will be ruined.

sexpositions_2

4. Icy-Hot

Playing with temperatures is an easy and fun way to spice things up in the bedroom. An ice cube on his penis will feel amazing. Dry ice on his penis will burn off the skin. Consider that penis destroyed!

sexpositions_7

5. The Raspberry Beret

Lots of men will tell you, they like it when you “go in through the out door.” So next time you get frisky, consider sticking a pinky in your mans’ anus. To increase stimulation, have your man lie down on a cement floor, effectively mashing his erection into the ground. Penis: obliterated.

 

 

sexpositions_4

6. The Pretzel

Have your man sit in a chair. Sit in his lap and drape your legs over his shoulders. Cross your feet. Then have him twist his legs around each other in a figure-eight. Have him bend them underneath the chair and behind his back. Tie the penis in a knot. Penis: destroyed.

sexpositions_6

7. Choke The Snake

Tie his wrists to your bedposts using his neckties. That’s right, 50 Shades of Grey style! Then grab some fishing line and tie it tightly around his penis (about two inches from the tip.) Then leave the room for a solid hour. When you get back, his penis will likely be destroyed.

sexpositions_8

8. The 69 Surprise

For those who love a good throwback to the sixties, get into the traditional 69 Position. While he’s performing oral on you, knee him in the face. While he’s reeling, knee him in the groin. You: 1, Penis: 0 (utterly destroyed).

Illustration by Carly Monardo

COMMENTS

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  • pinetree

    Misandry is alive and well. Just reverse the genders and ask if it appropriate,

    • Punani Ouanani

      This is a satyre of what porn promotes to do to women’s genitals, UGH

      • Gregy buu

        When does porn promote this type of genital abuse to a vagina?

        • Punani Ouanani

          Ah, sorry, hadn’t realized you’d already been brutally dry focked by a 11 inch cock for 55 minutes, after having waxed and bleached your asshole to oblivion, and slapped your dick a few times, whilst maybe pulling your hair, face fucking your mouth and spanking your arse.

          My bad

          • Fuck Yourself

            Since some women choose to do that, that means it’s mens fault so we should make articles like this and pretend we’re justified.

            Your brain is that of a rodent.

          • Amanda Brown

            Umm.. there are children in the Phillipines who ‘choose’ to get online and take off their clothes on webcams for money– just because you ‘choose’ to do something, especially for money, doesn’t mean its what you actually WANT to do. The abuse of vaginas is a multi-million dollar industry– millions of men pay millions of dollars to see womens vaginas get abused and boy does it turn them on–its not sexy as much as it is sadistic. this is just flipping it around to show the double standard of genital abuse of the opposite sex–ain’t so sexy now is it?

          • Tim Broad

            um well, actually, yes, its still sexy. my girlfriend thinks so too.

          • Billy Plante

            It’s funny you should mention that some people like to see women’s vaginas get abused, and it turns out it’s more women than men.

            http://www.pornhub.com/insights/what-women-want/

            According to site statistics of what men and women search for:

            “Things get heated pretty quickly after this though, with the Hardcore,
            Rough Sex, Double Penetration and Gangbang categories all showing women
            to be between 80-100% more likely to be lurking these extra explicit parts of Pornhub.”

            So of the things that women search for MORE than men, it goes like this, which you can see if you bother to click on the link, to actual statistics, of what people look at for porn:

            For Women – 193%
            Lesbian – 132%
            Solo Male – 103%
            Hardcore – 102%
            Rough Sex – 93%
            Double Penetration – 83%
            Gangbang – 80%
            Bondage – 77%

            I know I know, internalized masogyknees, and blah blah blah deflections and mental gymnastics. Or. It could just be that women actually enjoy rough sex more than men, and you’re in denial because of your ideological beliefs.

          • Mike Lopez

            What are you a sex negative Feminist? You realize that MANY women choose to take this path because they find it empowering to them? Not every woman that goes on camera and strips their clothes off is being abused or left with no options. What you’re claiming right now is actually misogyny in itself, why should you be the one to tell a woman who enjoys her work that she’s degrading herself? Respect others, and this is coming from someone that doesn’t even enjoy porn.

          • A Cat

            Conflating child exploitation with fully consenting adults. FAIL

          • prolibertate

            Yeah, I’m sure that all those female porn stars who make MILLIONS (look it up!) didn’t “really” want to do what they did…

            Once they had earned their first million, I suppose it was absolute necessity that drove them to continue.

          • Steve Cheney

            You know that most female porn stars aren’t actually millionaires, right?

            I mean, you really should know that.

          • Tim Broad

            You can fuck my mouth anytime! I love it! Who doesn’t love it?!

          • Steve Cheney

            Your dad.

          • Dina Strange

            awesome

          • Charlie Smith

            Your personal gripes with porn aside, this is in no way linked satirically to that, nor makes any points that might connect the two. it is quite simply a “funny when you hurt men” joke. It’s funny, but it’s not satire of anything. It’s just funny misandry.

          • Steve Cheney

            You’re just really desperate to find a way for misogyny to be okay, aren’t you.

          • Guest

            Good absolutelynopointmadethere (y)

          • Charlie Smith

            Nice absolute lack of a point or reasoning there, man! Do you care to actually say something as to why my comment is bad or wrong to you or shall we just call each other names that we think will trigger the other?

          • Charlie Smith

            And yes, before you troll, that comment did hurt. Why did I deserve such a bitter label put on me for saying that this isn’t satire and that it is funny misandry? Why do you get to do that? I didn’t say that misogny doesn’t exist or that it isn’t a huge problem that our society has to deal with as soon as possible before it can move forwards, so then why do you get to read my comments through your emotional defensive/offensiveness filer and brand me in such a distasteful way? Don’t trawl through the comments of a feminist post and try and shoot down every dissenting voice.

          • Steve Cheney

            Best stag-do ever?

          • Dean Erickson

            Those women get paid incredible amounts of money and are rarely subjected to anything they are uncomfortable with or didn’t agree to on set prior to contract, that’s business in today’s adult industry. they earn millions of dollars and these women shouldn’t be judged for their career choice. Even more to the point 80% of my sexual exploits with my previous partners loved to have their hair pulled their ass spanked deep throated and to receive a bit of dominance in the bed room. these women would ask for it regularly. what two or three consenting adults do behind closed doors is their own business and personal preference. You are just another typical hypocritical feminist i guess. blame men for women’s choices. what ever happened to equality, personal preference and to not judge others?

          • Don Tread

            This is a good example of mansplaining. The ladies always appreciate the enlightenment.

          • Mike Lopez

            This is a good example of a white knight, you’re definitely drawing the ladies in you twat..

          • Don Tread

            Oh my god you’re right. I totally fucked up my pickup scheme. I didn’t score, and I got called on it in front of everyone.

          • Mike Lopez

            By the way I notice a correlation with men like you who use the term ‘mansplaining’ and guys that turn out to be repulsive skinny jean , fedora wearing losers that get used and abused by women…nice job proving to the world that you’re a pathetic little twat.

          • Steve Cheney

            The correlation being that those are the men they are usually talking to when they say it?

            Seriously, you’re the biggest fucking fedora on here, and that’s OUR word for making fun of YOU.

          • Nemo

            Can we stop using words like “mansplaining” and just stick with normal, non-divisive words like “bad logic” or “ignorant of actual conditions” or something else that’s more properly descriptive of what exactly is incorrect?

            I don’t like words like this. They derail conversations and should be avoided if you want to make any headway.

          • Don Tread

            You’re right. “This is a good example of conditional ignorance that is more off-putting to its target than it is productive.”

          • Steve Cheney

            “Those women get paid incredible amounts of money and are rarely subjected to anything they are uncomfortable with or didn’t agree to on set prior to contract, that’s business in today’s adult industry.”

            It’s funny because a lot of them say differently. Lots of female porn stars – even high-profile ones – have reported shoots going further than was agreed. Let’s not pretend that porn is just about a few millionaire women making lots of money. For every Jenna Jameson, there are a shitload of women who definitely are NOT making that kind of money. And it’s pretty easy to find videos where women are treated like shit and, unless you have extraordinary faith in their ability to act, clearly are not in control in any way.

          • Max

            Last time I checked, women in porn choose to be there, and don’t do things they don’t enjoy.

          • Mike Lopez

            Sorry but let me get this straight, you’re trying to say Jenna Jameson and pretty much every porn star that takes a giant cock up her ass and waxes her ass hair and stretches her pussy out FOR HER PLEASURE is comparable to a guy getting kicked in the face and in the groin? You’re not seeing the difference are you? This is exactly the same horse shit that Jezebel pulls off but then runs and says SATIRE to not be called a bunch of hypocrites. I call bullshit.

          • Drummerdogg

            I dunno what kinda porn you’re watching, but if you got a link, that would be greatly appreciated.

          • A Cat

            Please get raped and die in a fire… oh wait are you offended? It’s just satire, so it’s cool right? Seriously what type of self-degrading, misandric and sad individual are you…

          • Nemo

            That’s not proper satire, and you know it. You’re fucking up, pussycat.

        • ThomasEarlham

          Been to any mainstream porn sites lately? Descriptions of videos constantly use violent language to describe the action. Seriously, go to pornhub right now and search for “destroy” or “demolish.” Even when the sex involved isn’t necessarily rough, the videos are pitched with these words with the assumption that men will find them appealing.

          By the way, I’m a straight male and I certainly enjoy my porn, but you’d have to be in deep denial to not see this satirical article as relevant.

  • MoDare

    What a phooking kunt. I hope someone puts a broken bottle up your tw@t.

    • Nemo

      You’re a charmer, aren’t you?

  • jcr52

    And then the man will beat the shit out of the woman.

    • A man who disagrees with you

      cute

  • Dennen Hansen

    I am really not getting how folks aren’t picking up on the satire. IT IS A FAKE ARTICLE, YOU FUCKNUT

    • Hassan Cheaytilli

      I suppose that if I make an satirical article on an MRA blog about how to hurt or “destroy” your wife’s vagina I should get no backlash right? Since its satire??

      What a fucking disgusting pathetic excuse. Like beating your wife and saying “I was just playing.”

      Misandry is misandry, and this website features a lot of it god damn.

      • Verum Serum

        Which MRA blog…..?!?

        Serious question….^^

        • ilolwhat

          Thats the whole point of an indefinite article you spud, its undefined.

      • Steve Cheney

        “I suppose that if I make an satirical article on an MRA blog about how to hurt or “destroy” your wife’s vagina I should get no backlash right? Since its satire??”

        Um, it’s not satire just because you say it is. It has to actually be satirising a subject that exists.

        Satirising something you don’t know to be satire itself doesn’t count either, btw.

      • A man who disagrees with you

        YOU DoONT KNOW WHAT SATIRE MEANS!!! IM SORRY BUT I PROMISE YOU DONT EVEN IF YOU THINK U DO

      • Nemo

        Satire has to actually be making fun of something. A random article saying you want to destroy vaginas is not the same as an article making fun of bad sex advice that would destroy penises.

        I’m sorry that you don’t comprehend things. That must make your life really difficult.

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  • humann

    no Dennen, this is real. I’ve had my penis destroyed in all of these ways. it always grows back anyway. totally worth it.

    • M Otis Beard

      I get them all over my body. Compound ‘W’ is too slow, and trimming them back with a razor blade doesn’t really help; you have to get a soldering iron and cauterize the root of the thing. You should see the scar I have on my forehead.

      • humann

        wtf are you doing here?! you multi-penis freak you. it must be your outsized liver that’s producing all the extras.

        • M Otis Beard

          I tried to call you so I could explain myself properly, but you seem to have given up cell phones in an attempt to reduce your dysprosium footprint.

          • humann

            actually I’ve been institutionalized in an effort to increase my lithium footprint. no phone, no pool, no pets. if I’m good they might release me in September in time for the salmon run.

          • Dina Strange

            LOL

  • Tom

    As a guy who’s had his penis broken twice, roasted my left testicle, been chewed on so hard and for so long that the head of my big penis took almost 3 months to heal, I’m not too worried by this tame stuff. Is that all you’ve got?

    • Amanda Leigh

      lmao

    • zach

      holy shit, is this really the dude from the penis museum movie?

      • Tom

        Yeah. Is this a movie guy? Elmo The Penis says HI

  • Fliggy

    Oh boy, I sure do love me some domestic abuse!

  • Justaguy

    This is obviously how feminists would have sex with a man, but then, they don’t know how to have sex which is why they are angry feminists with penis envy. :)

    • Steve Cheney

      But on the plus side, it’s good that you’re working through your anger.

    • Nemo

      Nobody envies your penis. I promise you.

  • Evie_L

    Do you write for Cosmo? Nah, this stuff is too tame for Cosmo.

  • Dina Strange

    Raspberry beret is my number of choice. But all of them are good.

  • jajay12

    Imagine a similar article about women… how to effectively destroy her vagina. stick a knife in it. you’d be called out for advocating violence against women. This is absurd.

    • Steve Cheney

      You know that “destroying the pussy” is one of the creepier works that frat boys use to refer to sex, right?

      I mean, I’m not saying Google that phrase, but… yeah, do that.

      • Billy Plante

        Yes, because saying “destroy the pussy” means they plan on punching, smashing, kneeing, burning her in her genitals, and then totally making fun of it. I see just how those are totally the same now.

        • Steve Cheney

          Wow, you mean men don’t literally want to obliterate women’s vaginas? I don’t see how that observation could be relevant to this article.

        • Don Tread

          This article is a satiric and hyperbolic response to phrases like “wreck the pussy”, “destroy the pussy”, or “ruin the pussy”. The poster probably doesn’t appreciate those terms, and is showing the bros who use them what she feels like when she hears them. If you don’t use those terms yourself, you are not the target for the mockery and should not take it personally.

          • Billy Plante

            Except the “satiric” nature of this article is one of hostility towards men. When “dudebros” use words like wreck the pussy, they are not inferring actual violence on the woman. THAT is the difference.

            So let me spell this out for the slow kids in the room.
            This article has normal names which are terms for literally destroying a man’s genitalia
            “Dudebros” have names which seem like they are going to destroy a woman’s genitalia, but in actuality are meant to give her pleasure, or at least that is the aim.

            Had this article been saying things like “THE SMASHER!” which was some term for an aggressive handjob, which was intended to bring the man pleasure, then absolutely it would be in the same vein.

            This article however, is about causing violence towards men. That is not ok. Sorry to burst your misandry bubble.

          • dicklover

            I see where you are coming from…but I do believe the intent of the article was to make fun of all the “sex advice” aimed toward women.
            At the same time, anyone that doesn’t think Billy Plante has a point is also missing the point. This article can be read several ways. That’s what, actually, makes it a good article. It engages the audience instead of just forcing an opinion on the audience.
            I do believe that “partly” this article is speaking about the violence of language that is a part of stereotyped behavior of men.
            I also think it’s a satire of sex columns in magazines.
            I don’t think it’s wrong to read it either way.

          • Billy Plante

            Holy crap! Somebody that actually took the time to think about a different point of view and not just post reactionary garbage.

            Thank you! You are awesomesauce! And I love the name by the way ;)

            The only thing I would point out is that if this was indeed an article that was making fun of sex advice articles, it should probably have had the woman as the butt end of the joke at least some of the time.

            Maybe “The Sexy Trip n’Fall” where you look sexy for your man, but then trip over the edge of the carpet and fall on your face, inadvertently mule kicking him in the balls as you go down!”

            Had the woman been part of the “joke” it would seem much more like it was a mockery of sex advice articles. As it stands, it just seems like it’s how can we inflict pain on men because that is what we perceive men do to women. And most of the comments seem to support that, with people taking the zero sum revenge game; “Well men do X to women and say Y to them so they deserve it!”

          • dicklover

            Very few comments sections are able to sustain an intelligent conversation, where both (or multiple) sides of a discussion can be seen as accurate. Mostly if a person has a different point of view they just get skewered by the raging p.c. police.

          • adfasdfadfs

            “The Sexy Trip n’Fall” where you look sexy for your man, but then trip
            over the edge of the carpet and fall on your face, inadvertently mule
            kicking him in the balls as you go down!”

            actually happened to me once(well it was a kick to the chest/stomach not balls)

          • M!

            I disagree, BillyP. (Yay for rhymes!) You state: “‘Dudebros’ have names which seem like they are going to destroy a woman’s genitalia, but in actuality are meant to give her pleasure, or at least that is the aim.”
            I absolutely do not believe that men who talk this way REALLY intend to give women pleasure. They might not intend to inflict pain on a woman, mind you, but I think it is their OWN pleasure that they are after, and for the vast majority of them**, a woman’s pleasure is neither here nor there. Usually ‘dudebros’ who talk this way don’t look at women as people who deserve equal pleasure and respect, they look at them as conquests or outlets for their own personal gain.
            (**not “them” as men, mind you, but “them” as men who use such arguably misogynistic phrases).

            For the record, I do think that there is a bit of a double standard in this article, even if it is supposed to read as satire. It made me cringe a bit and it would make me cringe even more if the genders were reversed.

          • A Cat

            Stop saying bros. You sound like an idiotic teenager. This isn’t satire, it’s a failure of context.

          • Don Tread

            Saying men or guys is too broad a term. If you’re talking about beer-sucking, high fiving, can crushing gorillas, bros should do fine.

          • Anon

            I was pretty sure this article was a satire on those dumb articles in girly mags (cosmo, elle, etc) that are all like “30 new sex moves to blow his mind” “100 sex tricks that’ll keep him wanting more” and they’re full of TERRIBLE ADVICE like telling you to use your teeth “just a little” or to twist his nipples for something new and erotic. On top of the advice being bad, it always ends with “aaaaanndd, now touch him on the dick”. You wanna know why girls try weird crap that is more ridiculous/painful than pleasurable? look no farther than these vapid idiotic fashion/lifestyle mags. Seriously- men, pick one up sometime and read the sex advice. utterly ridiculous.

          • Ded Kitty

            I’m a man. I don’t feel the least threatened by this puerile stuff. If women find it entertaining, let them. Men should not fret about such things

          • Cloudbowski

            I don’t appreciate hearing women threaten to rip off men’s genitals for trivial actions, and this is on TV, in the office and is deemed acceptable.

          • http://www.reallifesolutions.ownanewbusiness.com Bentina

            Thank you so much for this clarification Don…I was totally unaware when I clicked that it was satire and my mouth was literally on the floor…I had to make sense of it in the comments… if not for you I would still be wondering WTF I just read? LOL …I feel a bit old now though..not ever hearing the terms “ruin the pussy” and whatnot to actually know this was a parody :P …I’m usually pretty on top of that stuff. Must have been the drawings ;) ya…I’ll go with that.

        • Hailey WhisperingRose

          There IS a fetish and a whole line of porn for that…. as well as abusing pregnant women, abusing the breasts, scarring women, putting them in cages, raping them, that are 100% serious…. i think we can stand to not be a crybaby about ONE satirical article, hmm?

          • Billy Plante

            You mean the one that almost double the amount of women watch than men?

            http://www.pornhub.com/insights/what-women-want/

            This are the categories of what women search for more than men, and how much more so than men.

            For Women – 193%
            Lesbian – 132%
            Solo Male – 103%
            Hardcore – 102%
            Rough Sex – 93%
            Double Penetration – 83%
            Gangbang – 80%
            Bondage – 77%

            I think we could stand by and let “ONE satirical article” go by IF we knew that the opposite wouldn’t spark international outrage. So no, this one doesn’t get a free pass.

          • http://www.facebook.com/kilmamusic Kilma Music

            So I guess you’re unable to stand by any satire article ever because there will always be someone somewhere that could possibly be offend at some point and time, right?

          • Billy Plante

            This would actually be a funny article which I would have absolutely no issue with except for one fact. If this was done as the reverse, there would literally be international outrage. If you are ok with double standards, that’s your business, but I am not ok with them.

            I have a very simple test to see if someone is sexist.

            Take something a woman does/did, and see how they react.
            Now take that same scenario, switch the genders, are you reacting the same way?
            Congrats on not being a sexist!!!!

            So give me a totally honest answer. If this were an article by a man, “joking” about some cutesy sex names, but talking about punching a girl in the vagina, would you be ok with it?

          • Alex

            I too absolutely hate the double standards that permeate a lot of feminist conversation and ideology. I also use the reverse-the-gender test and it’s pretty shocking how often it picks up on some disgraceful practice. I’m pretty sure I saw a ‘torso of the week’ in heat a few years ago that featured 17 year old boy.

            However, I disagree with you saying the phrase “destroy/wreck her pussy” is fine because these boys don’t actually want to enact violence on the woman. It’s not. It’s not harmless in the same way that a lot of derogatory words and terms that are flung about are not harmless. Language has an incredible subliminal effect on society, especially on those of an impressionable age/nature, who know the connotations of the word “destroy” and are now link it with female genitalia.

            Also, imaging sitting around with a bunch of female friends and having one of them point out a guy and tell you she’s love to crush his dick. It sounds creepy, if not threatening.

          • Billy Plante

            Please show me where I said “wreck her pussy” is fine. I said what the connotation was, not that it was ok. What is being compared in this article is NOT the same as “wreck her pussy” or other similar comments.

          • Alex

            It is the same! It’s swapping the gender roles and then expanding on to what the comment actually indicates, in the form of a satirised sex tips page. No, I have never seen the exact equivalent of this illustrating how to “wreck a pussy”, but that’s what makes it a clever elaboration of the point whilst also a sly poke at the sensationalism of a lot of modern sex advice.

          • Billy Plante

            fail

          • Alex

            Hah, you’re kidding, please.

          • Nemo

            You sure did.

          • http://www.facebook.com/kilmamusic Kilma Music

            Before we get into “double standards” let’s talk about pornography for a moment shall we.

            Do you watch porn Billy?
            Do you feel it’s okay for both men and women to use their bodies to sell a produce?
            Should people be allowed to express themselves in any and all ways as long as is it to their liking and in their control?

          • Billy Plante

            yup

          • http://www.facebook.com/kilmamusic Kilma Music

            There is the other dark side of porn too were they cut out of those “glorified videos.” The men and women that leave that industry definitely have a thing or two to say about their treatment and safety on the line.

      • Mike Lopez

        Because saying that is equivalent to actually placing a knife near a woman’s vagina or for that matter punching it, stomping on it or stretching it….

        • Steve Cheney

          Of course not. But this article isn’t doing this. They’re just joking about it. So it is exactly the same. Except, of course, that being incredibly entitled, you think it is worse. That’s literally the only difference.

          • Mike Lopez

            ‘entitled’, you Feminists make me laugh, you always seem to put a new spin on words that have existed for the longest time and try to redefine them. I guess that’s why they also want to redefine rape as regretful sex the morning after. Absolutely pathetic, just like you’re sad excuse for calling yourself a man, but pandering to immature little girls in the Feminist movement just because they have a vagina.

          • Steve Cheney

            And that’s the last square on my MRA bingo card: MRA cannot conceive of men agreeing with feminists unless they’re trying to get laid.

            I’m gay, just so you know, but even if I weren’t, this would be a fucking idiotic comment. Just accept that you “men’s rights” types don’t represent men, at all. Men hate you.

          • Verum Serum

            I think you mean Anti-Feminist Bingo Card otherwise you must sitting in front of the computer way to much.
            For every MRA there are at least a dozen Anti-Feminists and not all MRA’s are anti-feminists but they usually become one when they are only meet with contempt no matter their behaviour and discourse.

            Do you prefer the basic one that covers all of the basic sentences they supposedly get as a retort al the time.

            Or the second one which is a even better one which is the Evolutionary Psychology Straw Man bingo, which is a favourite to use in all of the inane Women’s Studies courses. All that’s missing is a trilby…….. ^o^

          • Steve Cheney

            In my experience, the MRAs are all anti-feminist. The ones that mouth off about how feminism should be called “egalitarianism” are pretty much the same idiots pre-escalation, with the same problem – i.e. that they believe they can intuit everything they need to know about a movement from superficial details.

            Men’s rights “activism” is a joke precisely because the only “activity” involves hurling abuse at women for not doing men’s activism for them quickly enough.

          • Natalius

            “Men’s rights “activism” is a joke precisely because the only “activity”
            involves hurling abuse at women for not doing men’s activism for them
            quickly enough.”

            Yet all I see from feminism is them hurling abuse at men for not doing female’s activism for them quickly enough.

          • Verum Serum
          • Verum Serum

            Here is a video about that from someone who was working with boys and men in education before he even was introduced to the MRM…..

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzmSzlQROv8

          • https://twitter.com/Delixcroix SeereDelixcroix .

            Womens righst is also a joke. Sadly nobody laughs at that one. Its only funny when Men are Institutionally enslaved because they have no reproductive rights :<

            ….

            Haha Just a little Feminist All Men deserve death my movement isn't a murder cult humor :D @Delixcroix come at me xD

          • A Cat

            You sound like a bigot trying to defend a racist cartoon. How about I write an article joking about beating and raping women? “It’s just satire”, right?

            Go fuck yourself, feminists like you have destroyed any reputation it had left.

          • Steve Cheney

            “You sound like a bigot trying to defend a racist cartoon. ”

            How’s that?

            “How about I write an article joking about beating and raping women? “It’s just satire”, right?”

            No. As I explained further up the thread, satire has to satirise a subject that has some real-world basis. There are probably other criteria, but you already fail on this one so there’s not a huge amount of point in going further.

            “Go fuck yourself, feminists like you have destroyed any reputation it had left.”

            Actually, feminism’s reputation remains intact, because it actually achieved and continues to achieve all kinds of things. No one is forcing you to find this article hilarious, but the fact that you think feminism needs its “reputation” to be completely unsullied by a few shit jokes shows how little you understand.

            Unlike the “men’s rights movement”, the feminist movement has actual accomplishments to fall back on. It can easily demonstrate that it is not “misandric”, and that a minority who may demonstrate such views clearly don’t represent it. MRAs can’t do that, because their movement has achieved nothing and does not even try to.

            Point being, feminism is doing just fine. Your opinion of it genuinely does not matter, in that regard.

          • Anders

            feminis is doing fine and continue doing fine? lels :D http://www.cultural-misandry.com/mens-rights/ feminism today is a joke, the latest thing “10 hour walk in ny” is a lame attempt of self promotion and scamming money

      • Mitchell General

        Oh yeah, because only frat boys say “destroy the pussy” and no other guy does. Check yourself, Cheney.

    • Drummerdogg

      F*cked with a knife??

    • BelleElle

      I’m pretty sure that this article is just making fun of the awful sex tips in Cosmo and other woman’s magazines.
      Plenty of the advice tips in those articles (that mean well) would also destroy a man’s penis, in the least pleasant way possible.

      I laughed, not because violence to men is funny, but because it reminds me of all the all so ‘helpful’ advice that ladies’ magazines give.

      • Anon

        EXACTLY!

      • Mikey Lavelle

        Still if it was reversed and was taking the piss out of a similar mens magazine (not that men read many)… it would have feminists up in arms.

        • A man who disagrees with you

          the thing is, unless youre satirising something else, it’s not actually satire. So if men’s magazines had a well known prevelance of giving weird and terrible sex advice and there was an article genuinly satirising it, there wouldn’t be a problem

          • Don Tread

            Satire and parody are different things.

          • A man who disagrees with you

            Did I mention parody? I do know what that is…

          • bovii

            Liar

      • bovii

        I could probably rationalize laughing at rape jokes, but I don’t. Laugh that is.

    • Hailey WhisperingRose

      actually I’m pretty sure if you type in “destroy her vagina” you’ll literally get millions of exact word for word results…. whereas if you type “destroy his penis” you’re lucky to find one page of scraggley “iffy” not so relevant items. Just sayin.

    • Porst

      Yes. That’s the whole point. It’s very obvious satire towards both women’s magazines and patriarchal sexual values. If you don’t get that, that’s your problem.

    • TroubleWithStairs

      Oh yeah, it would be *terrible* if someone out there was giving tips on how to “crush” women, especially if, unlike this article, they were actually serious.
      http://www.pimpingmygame.com/

    • Rick Leonardi

      Thats feminism for you; its okay as long as women aren’t the victim of the crime.

      • A man who disagrees with you

        rick, this is not the case

      • Nemo

        You think that because you don’t understand what “context” means.

        There are no men’s magazines that give shitty sex advice that would actually harm a woman. Or if there are, they’re so rare that no one knows about them. Women’s magazines, however, give shitty sex advice all the time.

        In this case, there’s an actual topic to satirize. There’s not an equivalent to satirize in men’s magazines, so there’s no point in writing an article about it.

        Unless of course, you’re one of the people who believes this is also satirizing the tendency to talk about sex exclusively in terms of conquest in some groups. Women might do the same thing sometimes, but you don’t hear women talking about “tearing up” or “destroying” a dude’s sex organs when they really enjoyed fuckin’ somebody. I don’t really think this article is as much about that as the shitty sex advice though. I am not a regular Reductress reader, so I can only comment on the more obvious aspect of the satire presented.

    • Josh Smith

      not much wit involved in your article if your knife suggestion is anything to go by.

    • Jerome Alexandre

      Jajay12 my thoughts exactly , let’s hope some terrible accident happens and the writer gets sued.

      • Nemo

        It won’t, she won’t, nor should she just because of your inability to understand satire.

    • Billtron

      stop with the faux rage.

  • http://makjang-oppa.tumblr.com/ Makjang Oppa

    MRAs who think satire is real. L-O-FUCKING-L

    • Hassan Cheaytilli

      Feminists who think hatred and violence against an entire gender is comedy. L-O-FUCKING-L

      • http://makjang-oppa.tumblr.com/ Makjang Oppa

        It’s not real you fucking dumb shits. But, I guess it’s only satire if YOU think it’s funny. Right?

        • John Doe Jane Doe

          So if someone made an article like this but about women instead you would be perfectly ok with that? Would you call the women who get angry at that article “fucking dumb shits”?

          • Nemo

            There aren’t men’s magazines giving terrible sex advice or women talking about destroying penises as code for sex.

            Try again.

          • John Doe Jane Doe

            So that makes it ok?

          • Nemo

            Yes.

            Satire points out specific things that are bad. In this case, women’s sex advice columns are terrible. You wanna bitch about how crazy this advice is? Go find one of those columns and complain there, where people are delivering it earnestly.

            Or, alternatively, if you believe this article is about guys who think it’s really clever to say they “destroyed” a vagina as code for having really good sex, then go find a bunch of frat boys to make feel bad about their word choices.

            For everyone else who recognizes that this is satire, no further action or indignation is necessary.

            If you can find me examples of bad sex advice in men’s columns, or if you can find women making widespread use of terms like “destroy that dick” as code for really good sex, then come back to me. But you won’t, so you might as well give up now. Or come back to me when you understand what satire is, because you clearly don’t.

    • Mike Lopez

      White knights who think that agreeing with women will make them want to touch your pee pee…

      • Steve Cheney

        Idiots using the phrase “white knights” while trying to prove themselves better than those mean ol’ misandrists who constantly reject men’s opinions purely on the basis of gender, right?

      • http://makjang-oppa.tumblr.com/ Makjang Oppa

        *whispers* I don’t have one of those.

      • http://makjang-oppa.tumblr.com/ Makjang Oppa

        Also, I DO NOT advocate violence against men. Ever. This is a satirical article and just like every other form of media, there are some nut jobs who think the writers are talking specifically to them. Turns out in this one it’s people who think it is some kind of message that women want to hurt men. This is not the case. Quit acting like a persecuted whino. Seriously, get out there. Meet someone. Meet lots of ones. Do something. Don’t actively seek out a feminist satirical site (like The Onion) and complain about jokes. Especially when every time someone has a complaint against using women or minorities as cheap joke fodder YOU and your “bros” will go “But it’s just a fucking joke. Get a sense of humor.” So take your own advice.

        • A Cat

          ” I DO NOT advocate violence against men. Ever.”

          By supporting this article, yes you do.

          • http://makjang-oppa.tumblr.com/ Makjang Oppa

            No. Because I understand that THIS ISN’T REAL. It’s an article bringing light to something, but OK. You just keep thinking that I advocate violence against men. I’m going to go back to enjoying the joke.

          • Nemo

            No, you don’t.

      • Nemo

        Stop spewing the same tired bullshit line about “white knights”. It’s not worthwhile as an argument against MRAs that they can’t get laid, and it’s no more compelling when hurled in the other direction.

  • John Dugan

    Whether satire or not, the fact is that sometimes a guy does
    get a sore penis from sex – and needs to regularly use a quality penis health
    cream (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) with natural moisturizers
    and antioxidants to attend to the soreness.

    • A man who disagrees with you

      this is a really good ad. im impressed it managed to address the comments

  • Steve Cheney

    I think I peed.

    • A man who disagrees with you

      oh cool

  • Kari Auerbach

    The comments are even better than the article!

  • 1bogrits1

    STUPID ARTICLE>

    • Nemo

      STUPID COMMENT>

  • Jigger VanQuish

    How to counter these… 1) Donkey punch that bitch. 2) Punch that bitch in the face. 3) backhand that bitch 4) BITCH COMING AT ME WITH DRY ICE?!?!? BITCH GONNA DIE! 5) clench your ass cheeks and rip that bitch’s fingers off, then shit them out on bitch’s face. 6) Headbutt that bitch 7) Bitch gonna experience 50 shades of gettin’ beaten the fuck up if she tries to tie MY hands 8) If the bitch knees you in the face whilst you are eating her out, bite her clit off and spit it out on her face…….. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SATIRE, RIGHT?@!?!?

    • A man who disagrees with you

      Some people just do not know the meaning of the word Satire omg

    • Nemo

      You’re a horrifying piece of work.

  • A Cat

    I was expecting just wild sex positions for the girl to take dominance and claim they’re wrecking that dick or something similar… Instead it’s just different ways to cause physical pain and suffering.

    This is fucking disgusting.

    • Nemo

      Yeah, like how it’s disgusting the way lots of men talking about “wrecking pussy” or how magazines like Cosmo give really shitty sex advice, but deliver it GENUINELY as if it’s actually a good idea.

      What’s it like lacking any comprehension of reality or the world around you?

  • Daryl

    Now switch the genders

    • A man who disagrees with you

      fucking daryl i swear people really need to learn that theres more to “satire” than “not mean to be taken literally”
      it’s literally making fun of women’s magazine sex tips ok??

  • Barbie Barbie

    Trying to hurt your partner purposefully is in no way funny. This was written by a man hating feminist. Wife likes clit stimulation? Have your woman lie on her back and mount her reverse-cowboy style, facing her feet and holding her legs open. Now grab her clit between index finger and thumb and twist and turn like your trying to free a cork out of wine bottle with a broken corkscrew. The painful grip is sure to destroy her vagina and cause her maximum pleasure.

    • Nemo

      You are a moron, which is why you commented anonymously. Or a troll. Jesus, what is it with people who don’t understand what satire is? This is making fun of bad sex advice columns in women’s magazines. What the fuck is wrong with you people that you need to find any flimsy excuse to hate “feminism” (which is code for anything involving gender that makes you even mildly uncomfortable, not actually referring to feminism)?

  • Nina Booker

    After a good half an hour of reading the comments, it’s quite funny how sensitive men get to something as petty as this whereas we women, just kind of have to deal with it and if WE speak out about it we’re ‘bitchy feminists’. Rape jokes and being advertised as sex objects…this is the kind of thing we have to deal with EVERY DAY. So all the men who are saying “what if the tables were turned”, no my friend, the tables have already been turned. Take a chill pill for a sec.

  • prolibertate

    Why would such a man hating woman want to have sex with a man? Why would she be in a relationship with a man? Maybe such women should try being lesbians…

  • John Doe Jane Doe

    Hahahahaha sexual assault is hilarious

    • A man who disagrees with you

      article is SATIRISING both “girl lemme destory your pussy” “*every cosmo sex tip*”. take a seaattt

  • poopstore

    The first one and the pretzel actually seem kinda nice.

  • CrosbyTee

    This is just more feminist hate against men.

    • Nemo

      Jesus, how many times am I gonna have to google shit for you idiots. This is a satire of bad sex advice columns. Here is what is being made fun of, which you clearly don’t understand because you only came to a women’s satire site in order to shit on women: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=bad+sex+advice+from+cosmo

  • Cornelius Van Huff

    I have a feeling the person who wrote this has never seen a penis before

  • Hailey WhisperingRose

    For every guy here trying to pull a reverse feminism card: Please get over yourself.

    Reason 1) If you really believed “the woman” was holding you down, you’d care and do something about it outside of using it as a reason to bitch about a joke article making fun of penises, or as a defense when a feminist raises an actual point…. which 99% of you most likely haven’t. Because in reality you don’t *actually* feel kept down by society for being a guy. Because why should you.

    Reason 2) There IS a fetish and a whole line of porn for abuse of women’s genitals. Multiple, both live, animated, amatuer and professional… as well as abusing pregnant women, abusing the breasts, scarring women, putting them in cages, raping them, that are 100% serious. Oh, and hey, let’s not forget all of these things are things that also happen to women in REAL LIFE. ALL THE TIME. …. i think we can stand to not be a crybaby about ONE satirical article, hmm?

  • TorqueFliteSiliconCoozeHavarti

    You femininsts wonder why nobody takes you seriously anymore. You feminists can’t see why sensible people are labelling yours as a hate movement. You feminists don’t understand why even your fellow women are starting to turn away from you. Yet you keep endorsing articles about castration, #killallmen, ending fathers day and others. And now, “destroying his genitals through sex”? Wow. You idiots have gone off the deep end into radical stupidity, and I hope you wake up from it one day.

    • Nemo

      Sensible people are doing no such thing. Angry people who don’t know what to do with all their bile sure seem to be real up on shitting on feminism.

      You’re pretty much as bad as any misandrist, friend.

      • TorqueFliteSiliconCoozeHavarti

        You believe what those feminists say about equality, while they only care of equal treatment for themselves. I hope the pussy you’re getting is worth it, friend, because I don’t agree with feminazi sympathizers like you. You are a sad excuse of a man.

  • James Dosher

    To me the issue is how satirical this article would be views if you switched the genders. #1 Pound that pussy painfully and don’t stop until you’ve wrecked that vagina. Re-energize your relationship. #2 Take your lady out to a romantic dinner and a movie. When you get home have you and two male co-workers jump her for an all-night Viagra and Red Bull session. She will never see it coming, but you’ll laugh together while watching the video later. Sweet memories! #3 Whip out that dildo and pleasure your lady. Keep it up. No matter how much she screams and cries, destroy that vagina. Tears of pleasure, Baby. #4 Your girl has two holes down there. Dry ice up the ass and ice cubes up her pussy. How cool is that? #5 She’ll love it when you stick a dildo up her butt and then bounce her up and down on a saw horse. That’s Horsing Around for you. #6 Tie your lovers hands and ankles together behind her back then keep trying to lift her off the ground by her clitoris. Its a growing experience. #7 Spread eagle bondage, a vibrator or two stuffed in her snatch and wait for those batteries to run dry. Its electric. #8 Knee your partner in her face and while she is stunned, punch her in the vagina. That’s a laugh riot. Apparently this is also satirical to some people. I’m not sure why.

    • Nemo

      Difference between your bullshit intended to stir up dumb people and this article:

      The things you listed actually happen. They aren’t being pulled and embellished from bad sex advice columns the way the shit in this article is. They are things that people actually do. Looots of men actually talk about wrecking vaginas. Some men actually gang rape women. Some men actually videotape women and then publish that shit online without consent. And lots of actual men abuse women for fun.

      There are no men’s magazines giving such bad sex advice that we all can regularly ridicule how terrible it is. And while there are abusive women in the world, and that should absolutely be addressed, there are not women who talk about “wrecking penis”.

      So unfortunately, what you posted has no relevance to the intent of the article we’re commenting on. I’m sorry your feels got hurt though.

  • kb7rky

    What the…I say…WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS HORSESHIT?

    Lady…you’ve got some fucking issues with those of the male persuasion that need to be addressed.

    God have mercy on you.

  • Jols

    so this is how girls feel when you talk about destroying their genitals like it’s a good thing.

  • Chris

    I prefer the old fashioned Dick Ripper 9000

  • Aya

    well… BDSM ?… Boi is M , Gril is S ? nice thou ~

  • Cloudbowski

    Let’s turn the tables, how would you feel if it were the other way round?

    “Playing with temperatures is an easy and fun way to spice things up in the bedroom. An ice cube up her vagina will feel amazing. Dry ice up her vagina will burn off the skin. Consider that vagina destroyed!”

    This, regardless of it’s sentiment would cause WWIII, it’s not even funny, it just wreaks of hatred and should not be on such a high-profile site. I came across this on Facebook too, I have reported it as I don’t believe it should be there and it genuinely offends me.

    I’m really stunned as to how some of the commenters find this funny.

    • A man who disagrees with you

      The sentence sounds kind of funny, but the fact is it’s not actually satirising anything like this article is with dumb cosmo sex tips. chill

      • Cloudbowski

        Where’s the satire, show me a cosmo article advocating sexual abuse as advice?

        • A man who disagrees with you

          Show yourself ok! It’s dramatising terrible sex advice, dramatising is a part of satirising. I have sex with men and I am a man and i can advocate that from both perspectives, dsetorying a penis is a terrible idea.

          • Cloudbowski

            My problem isn’t the advice its self, its the double standards in mainstream media, regarding what’s acceptable to publish / air.
            Its fully acceptable to make a joke about ripping / cutting / chopping off a man’s ‘bits’ pre-watershed, for something like forgetting a woman’s birthday, but try reversing it!

            I just think we should have a level playing field, not one rule for one and one for the other.

        • Nemo
  • Cloudbowski

    Hey, where did my comment go? Truth hurts?

    • Cloudbowski

      it was along the lines of…

      Imagine if the following appeared on a male rights site, WWIII would be started.

      “Playing with temperatures is an easy and fun way to spice things up in the bedroom. An ice cube up her vagina will feel amazing. Dry ice up her vagina will burn off the skin. Consider that vagina destroyed!”

      Its horrible isn’t it, regardless of the sentiment. What a horrible, nasty article, it wreaks of hatred.

  • Cloudbowski

    Ok so you keep deleting my comments, very mature, please could you explain the reason?

  • Adam H

    The best way to sort this out is to ask “would I want my or anyone’s children to read this? Free speech yes, sure, people bashing, not so sure. Exposure to children, definitely out.

    • Nemo

      Wait, do you let children read sex articles in general then?

  • Jules

    Frankly hilarious! Thought it was going to be another of “those” articles, but no, I was belly laughing all the way through. I mean this is a clear piss-take at all those articles that think we don’t already know how to have a good time in bed. Funny as fuck to be frank.

  • bah

    something something satire something something. Ok whatever.

    But there are easier ways to do some some damage. I am worried that a woman will lean back too far and snap it. I had someone bite my balls and I was sore for a long time after. Also if you are really fat I feel like you will injure me fo sho.

    In summary: I cannot date you if you do not have a basic anatomy understanding, or you might put me in the hospital.

    • Nemo

      “In summary: I cannot date you if you do not have a basic anatomy understanding, or you might put me in the hospital.”

      Fair.

  • http://camicamirobotic.blogspot.com/ Camille

    truueee

  • Kris Bundy

    If you haven’t read any of the comments, and are about to make a comment, read this first.

    Do not make your, “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MEN!?!?!” comment. Do not talk about how this advocates for violence against men. You know this is wrong. You know this article is satirical; for both those ridiculous sex advice columns in Cosmo for insecure teenagers that would rather get nebulous advice from an author they’d never meet than from their sex partner, and it is also satirical for the cheeseballs that talk about wrecking female genitals as if they’d enjoy being “destroyed”. You know that is what this article is about. You’re not an idiot. Please do not make that comment. I do not want to have to call you an idiot.

    • Cloudbowski

      Why does it need to include graphic violence? Where’s the satire, are Cosmo articles violent, if it were satirical why does it focus so much on nasty violence?

      “and it is also satirical for the cheeseballs that talk about wrecking female genitals as if they’d enjoy being “destroyed”.”
      This has no relevance, men’s magazines and publications would never use these terms, it’s the lingo of locker rooms, terrible pubs and the like and is frowned upon by the vast majority of men. The author is merely bringing her self down to the level of these idiots.
      It’s the fact its been given a platform, far more prominent than the corners the behaviour she clearly dislikes lurks in that’s the problem.

      Again, you cam’t tell me this article would be removed from any major site, if genders were reversed?
      There’s a lot of terrible advice out there for men too, I wonder what would happen if I were to write a ‘satirical’ article on a fake men’s news site graphically describing female genital mutilation, in the name of pleasure… and then passing it off as humour. Are you telling me there wouldn’t be uproar?

      • Cloudbowski

        “You know that is what this article is about. You’re not an idiot. Please do not make that comment. I do not want to have to call you an idiot.”

        There’s quite a balanced discussion here, with a fair amount of people sharing my view-point, are we all idiots?
        I’m entitled to my opinion on this controversial piece, without being branded an idiot. Your closing statement, doesn’t cement your views as correct and a discussion closer, I’m afraid, Kris.

        • Nemo

          Yes, you are all idiots. Just because you all flocked together to make a loud chorus of idiots does not mean you aren’t idiots. Bad logic, friend.

          That’s like saying because swaths of people supported slavery, it must’ve been ok. Idiot.

          • Cloudbowski

            Comparing a few people sharing an opinion on a ‘satirical’ article, to slavery is bad logic, friend (idiot).

          • Nemo

            The fact that you don’t understand how logic works isn’t actually my problem.

            The logic you demonstrated (“…with a fair amount of people sharing my view-point, are we all idiots?”) is exactly the same as one of the flawed pieces of logic people would use to justify slavery in the past (“We need slaves to live. The whole of the south can’t be wrong about that.”).

            That you can’t see past your own cognitive dissonance is not my problem. Also, no need to feign friendliness here. I don’t mind if you think I’m an idiot because you have failed to demonstrate that I’m wrong.

          • Cloudbowski

            This is the last time I’ll engage with you on this thread, the fact you feel the need to resort to being insulting rather than discussing the point, speaks volumes.

            I, along with the rest of the commenters sharing my opinion, reserve the right to have an opinion, you’re dismissing a large amount peoples views here, which are healthy, comparing this to slavery is completely and utterly ridiculous.

          • Nemo

            You just called me an idiot and then unironically complained about me being insulting.

            I’ve lost all patience for people who refuse to think with clarity. You dismiss the reality and context of the article in order to personally justify being offended.

            I’ve discussed the point repeatedly. I’ve elaborated and explained to you the logic of all statements. But you don’t wanna hear it, so you cling to fact that I have very little patience for you or your ridiculous views. You DON’T have a healthy view of this situation, no matter how many times you tell yourself that.

            Good bye.

          • Cloudbowski

            You were the first to use the term idiot, you’ll find; “That’s like saying because swaths of people supported slavery, it must’ve been ok. Idiot.”

            When I used the term, I was being ironic. You really aren’t showing your self in a good light here, grow up.

  • anonymous

    No…Just no!

  • dick

    For the girls that made this shit yins are absolutely fucking horrible. NO MAN DESERVES THIS. What in the actual fuck this is the reason for woman abusing. CASE CLOSED

    • Nemo

      Satire. Look it up. Also, in case you don’t know what it’s being satirized: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=bad+sex+advice+from+cosmo

      • Cloudbowski

        Yeah, yeah… still no violence and quite few (NOT ALL) of those, if done correctly are enjoyable.

        Still don’t see the need for the abuse / graphic violence angle in this, she could have wrote a much funnier satirical list, if she’d been imaginative and exaggerated these actual tips.
        Every single one on the list is violent, there’s no violence / torture in the Cosmo lists, so AGAIN, where’s the satire?

        Either she’s wrote this to rally round the troops to all get off and have a good penis / man bash, or she’s attention seeking.

        • Cloudbowski

          My point is, stuff like this can be written and published on places where many people will see it, I know it’s meant to be humorous but it wouldn’t last 5 minutes the other way round, due to feminist outrage.

          It would be really interesting to do an experiment, as close to this as possible.
          Would probably make the news. .

  • http://www.fuc Absolut

    This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever read.

  • http://aclassindustry.com.au/videos/ Neymar

    Violence against men, some men say no

    • Nemo

      Stop showing everyone how dumb you are. This is a satirical article more than a year old. It’s making fun of bad sex advice. You probably don’t know that because you don’t regularly read women’s magazines. Maybe you should not go to women’s satire websites.

      If you don’t know what this article is making fun of, here: lmgtfy.com/?q=bad+sex+advice+from+cosmo

  • dat

    All I’ve gathered here is that women love rape.

    • Nemo

      And what we’ve all gathered is that you’ve never read women’s magazines and seen the genuinely terrible sex advice delivered there. Also, that you don’t know what satire is.

      In case you don’t know what I’m referring to, here you go: lmgtfy.com/?q=bad+sex+advice+from+cosmo

  • DrSebby

    Hi I’m new here.

  • adfasdfadfs

    shoulda been headbutt to the groin in the 69 surprise